Parent Dialoques

[BreathingSince72]

Another exercise from Andy Matzners’ work “The Tarot Activity Book.”

Andy provides background for this exercise by sharing how we grow up with loving and critical messages from our parents or caregivers but how most of us tend to internalize the critical voice to a greater extent than the loving one by the time we are adults. We need to challenge the critical voice and also experience the healing of the loving voice.

Grab your journal, grab your tarot deck, and come with me! (Or Andy, as it were).

You can do this process in a couple of ways. One is to select a card from your deck to represent your mom or dad, or your critical or supportive parental voice. The other is to select two cards for each parent or caregiver...one card to represent the critical voice and one to represent the loving voice. Make sure you won’t be disturbed.

Begin by having a conversation with the critical card. What does this voice say to you? Why does it feel the need to speak to you this way? How might you challenge the statements of this critical voice, knowing what you know as the adult that you are today? Write about it in your journal.

Now turn that attention to your loving parent. What does the nurturing, loving voice have to say to you? Why do they feel so strongly about it? What can you do to agree with this voice? What do you want to say to that parent/caregiver? Write about this in your journal.

Andy recommends completing the exercise in a couple of ways. You could destroy the card representing the critical voice, realizing that it no longer serves you today. Or you could hide it somewhere. Conversely, you can build a shrine to the supportive voice or find some other way to keep it close to you. Whatever you choose, may your process be powerful!

[I Sunshine]

This sounds like a pretty powerful tool... a bit afraid to try it. Did you do this exercise, BreathingSince72? If so, how did it go? Did it take a long time? Did it open a can of worms (my fear speaking)?

[BreathingSince72]

This sounds like a pretty powerful tool... a bit afraid to try it. Did you do this exercise, BreathingSince72? If so, how did it go? Did it take a long time? Did it open a can of worms (my fear speaking)?

These are great questions. I do exercises like this regularly. I do a lot of shadow work, a personal choice I have made to help me avoid making really bad choices. The only thing to fear is fear itself. I know that sounds so cliche but, in this case, it is really true. You have already lived it, I Sunshine, now you get to write about it.

With any exercise, it takes as much or as little time as you want to invest. If it feels safer, start small, one card and a few sentences. My critical voice reminds me of the Ten of Swords. It is torturous and cruel. It does not know when to stop. I don’t know where I learned that. I don’t know if it was the result of having so many things fall apart when I was so young or if it was the bullying I experienced where ugly things were said daily by my peer group. My affirming voice is the Sun. It is all joy, all light, and it sees a positive potential in every circumstance. It also sees the very best in me.

So it did not open a can of worms. But if it had, the chances are that I would come here and talk about it....so I wouldn’t have to deal with it alone. Of course people would have a choice about whether or not they spoke to me about it and that is okay too. If you decide to do this exercise and you want to share, I will be happy to be an ear for your process. I think you might be pleasantly surprised with your own results.

Victoria

[Nemia]

I have Andy's book - and this exercise looks great. I'm all for selecting cards, it's a great technique. This is something I should really do!