Not a good welcome

[DarkWing]

Okay, so let me come clean.

Been reading tarot since 1972 – and beginning in 2003, I’ve been told I’ve been doing it wrong. And it continues.

I don’t do the ‘stuff’.

I don’t decorate my table, I don’t smudge, I don’t cleanse, I don’t have an akashic record player, I don’t align chakras, I don’t consider sun signs, and could care less about mercury’s movement.

When I ask questions, or post comments, I’m told I’m being argumentative, that my mind is already made up…I get insulted, put down, diminished, and have words shoved in my mouth (being told what I intended - like they can read my mind - but they're not psychic) because I ask others to simply think.

When I pose a question, I believe it’s important to understand that I’m approaching it from a certain point of view (“Attention, move your ship” “Attention my ass, I’m a lighthouse – change your course”). Yes, bias can be important.

I don’t know how to write in such a way as to not offend every person. Some folks tend to get pissy when I wish them a ‘Good Morning’. I don't get it. I guess I'm just old.

I like to ask questions, and wait for a response that enlarges my world – hoping that the worlds of others are also enlarged.

After all these years I’m still a student. I don’t profess to know everything. But by everything that’s holy I believe I have a right to learn. And in learning, I question everything.

I simply wanna talk about tarot and related subjects. I don’t know how to write without offending somebody.

If this is not the correct forum, can you direct me to one where I’ll not have folks forcing words into my mouth, as opposed to understanding what I’m saying?

Cuz I ain't feelin' the love...that tarot folks profess to have and practice.

[Charlie Brown]

I have no advice for you on where you might like to read and post, but I am someone who has had to work on modulating their conversational tone both in real life and on the internet. I generally don't like to get involved in these kind of threads but, since I didn't participate in that cleansing thread, I don't have a dog in that particular fight and, therefore, maybe I can be of some help without seeming like I have an agenda.

First, I completely believe you when you say that you weren't trying to be controversial, argumentative, or dismissive. By the same token, however, I also must completely believe the people who seemed to feel that they were attacked in some way. Feelings are feelings. I don't see any reason for anyone to lie about them. SO...there's clearly a mismatch between what you intended and how it was received. It could just be that a particular person or people are being overly sensitive but, as an author, I would hope that you would want to do everything in your power to make sure that you are clearly understood. With that in mind, I do see some things that might have led people to misinterpret your intentions.

First and foremost (and most simply) was the sarcasm that you adopted at the end of the post. "If you knock it four times..." suggests to people that, although you're asking for their opinion, that you're doing so from a place of skepticism moreso than curiosity.

And, beyond the sarcasm, I think that they way in which you expressed (or didn't) your curiosity is what made people think you were trying to attack them. The big problem I see in your post is that you made a lot of assumptions about what the specific people in this forum do or do not do. Rather than let them explain their practices and their reasoning behind them, you, intentionally or not, tried pre-define them and restrict them into your terms. So, you created a sort of fictitious composite person who talks about "negative energy," "darkenss," etc. Then you proceeded to define these terms that you brought up out of nowhere and then asked people at large to explain/defend them to you. I'm quite sure that you didn't mean to be antagonistic, but that really isn't very inviting rhetoric.

To be blunt, you've kind of done the same thing in this very thread. "Not a good welcome," again, sounds like you're putting the onus onto other people rather than examining how you contributed to a situation that you seem to find unsatisfactory. If you really want to know and talk about these things and learn from other people and work through ideas in a group environment, then I have faith that you can do better. If you didn't respect people's ideas and opinions then you wouldn't ask for them. It's just a question of doing a little work to make sure your rhetorical choices communicate that respect.

peace be upon you

[stronglove]

wow charlie brown you have made me use the thank you button, that i don’t like to use at all, for the second time ever!

[Diana]

DarkWing, any tarot forum would most likely be thrilled to have you and your experience and your sharp mind and your knowledge of the tarot. Which is vast I know. Sort of ocean vast. But forums are few as you may have noticed as most people have migrated to social media. I much prefer forums to social media which I tend to avoid as much as possible.

I loved the few things you posted. They were right up the alley of a tarot explorer and discoverer. What is negative energy? Every word of your original post was enlightening and the ones after too. And the humour, slightly provocative, was a nice touch. Very good literary device.

You're all good in my books.

[Aoife]

We first met - DarkWing, Diana, firemaiden and I - at the end of 2002.
It was a different world.
A kinder time... but more than anything it was a time of burgeoning curiosity. For the first time, what had been for most, a niche or solitary interest suddenly blossomed into a world-wide web of like-minded souls. We revelled in the opportunity to discuss Tarot. Awareness of the intricacies of difference came later. And social media has since made possible the sharpening of edges, the drawing of lines, the digging of trenches.

I'm rarely categorical about much and I prefer to personalise [rather than generalise] my views. But I can unequivocally say that in my experience DarkWing comes from a genuine spirit of enquiry. He is the kindest of men, but a demanding teacher. But he's right when he says he's old. His style of exposition belongs to an age when teachers and students could explore ideas, practices, beliefs through challenge. That time has probably passed.

DarkWing, Diana and I come from a different age. We sound different because of our experience, not because of any malign intent to cause disharmony - no matter what people's views about what happened at AT. All versions of the story of that place have validity.

I miss Paula, firemaiden, terribly right now. She has that rarest of talents to soothe... through humour, wit and wisdom to help both 'sides' to see the good intent. I don't have her diplomacy. And my age and professional background can make me sound patronising - I deeply regret that. It is not my intent. But I sincerely hope we can find a way to live together... and if not together, then side by side.

[Joan Marie]

But I sincerely hope we can find a way to live together... and if not together, then side by side.

That sounds like a good ending for this thread.

I'm going to lock it now, not to cut anyone off, but rather in the spirit of moving forward which is something I am sure everyone is ready and able to do now.