Tomatosauce reads for dodalisque, Celtic Cross

[Tomatosauce]

Hi there! I'm looking forward to reading for you. Did you have any particular question in mind, dodalisque?

[dodalisque]

A general reading would be fine. If you would prefer a focus, I am facing retirement and am one of those people whose work was their life, so I'm feeling a bit scared about all the empty days ahead and might like some suggestions about how to hang on to a notion of myself as a worthwhile human being. But that could be a gloomy reading, so I'm just as happy to get a general reading. Maybe the two ideas are the same idea.

[Tomatosauce]

Hi Dodalisque-

I read for you using the Spacious Tarot by Carrie Mallon and Annie Rugyt.I like this deck because of the way the images invite the reader or seeker to imagine themselves into the scene, and it seems to me that as you stand on the cusp of retirement, that imagining yourself into whatever comes next is relevant to you.

So with that:

A Celtic Cross spread for you, and for your convenience:

The same spread, with the crossing card moved aside so you can see the card underneath.

1. The heart of the matter: Six of Swords
2. What crosses you: Seven of Pentacles
3. What's underneath: Temperance
4. What's past: The Chariot
5. What crowns you: Explorer (Knight) of Wands
6. What's near to come: Nine of Wands
7. Your observations: Two of Pentacles
8. You in the environment: Explorer of Swords
9. Your hopes and fears: Guardian (Queen) of Wands
10. Outcome: Ace of Wands

Look at all the Wands in this spread! So much about passion and creativity here, balanced a bit by Swords and Pentacles, but what's interesting to me is how, despite your question feeling suffused with emotion, the spread entirely lacks any Cups.

The Six of Swords is so appropriate here- you're standing at this liminal transition point as you leave your former career behind and see retirement stretching out before you. And while you may have worked and planned for and looked forward to this, now that it's here, the transition brings with it some sharp pain and maybe it brings up some buried assumptions about your value as a person being tied to what you can produce (Seven of Pentacles). We're all living under late capitalism, and we've all been bombarded with these ideas our whole lives about the value of work and economic production, so the end of that phase of our lives can really hit us right in the self-worth.

Work and rest, productivity and a fallow period, saving and spending... your strength here will be bolstered by your ability to hold these things in tension and conversation with one another (Temperance). You've been conditioned to believe that your worth could be measured by work and perhaps you enjoyed chasing career advancement, or even just the respect of your colleagues, the feeling of being indispensable. Perhaps you were chasing it for a while (Chariot) and now that you're not... well, what now?

But... we know all that, right? This is where all the Wands in the spread come in. You have so much passion and vitality, looking for a direction to chase in (Explorer of Wands). And now you aren't having to expend it on your job! What a luxury! The Nine of Wands here is a caution about protecting that beautiful passion you have. There are so many ways for you to apply it; don't overexert yourself. It's okay to take some time and rest, and consider what is really worthy of your creative energy. Maybe it's a hobby you always wanted to try, or one you never had enough time for. Or maybe it's volunteering. But the point is, it's 100% okay to rest, binge some Netflix, and let your mind and soul enjoy some peace before diving back in. Enjoy not being bound to any schedule but the one set by what seems best to you.

Retirement does require a careful management of resources (Two of Pentacles), both financial and spiritual. It can be hard to watch a nest egg start to shrink as it's used for the purpose it was intended for all along, and it can add to that itch of needing to be DO something, to apply your hard-earned expertise to economic production right away (Knight of Swords)! But economic production is not the only thing you have to offer! Whatever passions you tend can be shared and can offer warmth and light to others (Guardian of Wands).

Ultimately, this transition in your life is a moment of intense possibility and opportunity (Ace of Wands) to cultivate an explorational, sensitive, joyful approach to life, un-shackled from bosses and customers and coworkers and the compromises we all make for that next paycheck. If the days feel empty, face the emptiness for a bit. Sit with it. See what emerges now that space has been cleared for it. We know what has ended; what is ready to spark into existence?

[dodalisque]

Thanks very much. The 6 of Swords/7 of Pentacles conflict at the centre of the reading feels particularly appropriate to me right now. And the 2 of Coins - juggling funds - is something that has been at the back of my mind for a while, and now that there is talk of an expensive renovation to our building, the prospect of looming financial difficulties has unfortunately coincided with my retirement. Could be tough times ahead. Finding a new passion must account for all the Wands in the reading, not to mention waning physical energy - 9 of Wands. I've always been very sporty and active but a bunch of old sports injuries have recently prevented me from getting enough exercise, so that's another thing that surfaced in your reading. Funny the way these issues are simmering away in the back of the mind and only receive the attention they deserve when they are verbalised in a reading. The absence of any Cups expresses how numb I feel - emotions seem like a luxury I don't have time to indulge. Time to get past that! Very elegant and clear. Attractive deck too, it's new to me. Thanks again.

[Diana]

That Knight (Explorer) of Swords is very interesting. It struck me and I wonder if it isn't a central card.

Knights go exploring - they don't sit at home waiting for the holy grail to come to them. (Even if at the end of their quest, they realise they need never have left home, they would not have come to this conclusion if they hadn't gone looking for it in the wild world).

An acquaintance of mine, a hairdresser, took her retirement recently. She now goes twice a week to the local refugee/homeless centre where certain services are offered and cuts the homeless people's hair for free. This gives them back a bit of their dignity. At the centre are all sorts of volunteers like this - a podiatrist, an osteopath, and psychologists along with other services like dental care.

Just an example of what a Knight of Swords can do.

[dodalisque]

That Knight (Explorer) of Swords is very interesting. It struck me and I wonder if it isn't a central card.

Knights go exploring - they don't sit at home waiting for the holy grail to come to them. (Even if at the end of their quest, they realise they need never have left home, they would not have come to this conclusion if they hadn't gone looking for it in the wild world).

An acquaintance of mine, a hairdresser, took her retirement recently. She now goes twice a week to the local refugee/homeless centre where certain services are offered and cuts the homeless people's hair for free. This gives them back a bit of their dignity. At the centre are all sorts of volunteers like this - a podiatrist, an osteopath, and psychologists along with other services like dental care.

Just an example of what a Knight of Swords can do.

Oh dear, you're right, you're right, you're right. Growing up as an only child in virtual poverty has made physical and emotional survival my main daily priority, and this seems to have turned me into a very selfish person. Staying at home to look after our kids has also made me quite obsessive about protecting my personal time. In those days, as I'm sure most mothers will agree, winning a single moment for myself was an achievement, and now I'm old I have too much time alone with nothing to worry about. Maybe love is nothing more than having something to worry about.

I admire people so much who give their time and energy to others. Both my children have careers in social work. But I have to admit I can't find within myself a particle of enthusiasm for what you recommend. Only complete inner emptiness and sheer desperation will drive me to it. But I know it would be good for me.

There are lots of reasons why my hypnotherapy business didn't work out, but one of them was that after a while I realised I didn't really care about people very much. Or perhaps I cared too much and the weight of their suffering was crushing. I don't know. But you might have given me an idea. Offering free hypnotherapy is something I could imagine actually enjoying. But another problem is that I really need to be making money to survive. It would probably be more constructive for me to sweep floors for a few extra dollars. But those kind of jobs are not so easy to find nowadays. Ugh, true confessions.

[Diana]

Oh, I wasn't suggesting you go out and volunteer and become some charity worker ! I realise now that it was worded in such a way that you could think this. Sorry.

It was just an example. One that may or may not have meant anything to you. I don't know you well enough to suggest anything and you didn't ask for a specific suggestion anyway and it wasn't me the reader anyway. First reader gets first options .... they drew the cards at a precise moment with a specific intention in mind. I was just wanting to stick to the cards and what I noticed.

A Knight doesn't sit at home. Not all the time anyway. Because he is a Knight --- there is some kind of service always apparent in the Knights of the Tarot. And there are two Knights in the reading. One even Crowns you. If one overlooks the principle function of a Knight, then we're missing the point of the knights in the Tarot.

A service can be anything. It's very vast. And the world now is at our doorstep with the internet. We don't even have to necessarily go outdoors to be outside. Some people create a website for a specific purpose. Some people even manage to make a few dollars out of them.

I know a woman who loves correcting mistakes on wikipedia with a spirit of community in mind because that's what rocks her boat.