When my readings end up being all about me

[Red ivy]

Hello everyone! I'm a newbie in the forum and promise to introduce myself in the introduction topic. For now I have a question that's been on my mind for a while.
I bought my first Tarot deck around 6 years ago and have been doing readings for myself, few friends and family occasionally. The thing is--when I do a reading for someone else (just for practicing, not professionally), I almost always end up receiving info that is meant for me, not for the querent. It feels as if my Guides are waiting for me to finally pick up the deck and can't wait to share information and warnings on the events that are about to happen,no matter the fact that the querent is sitting next to me and waiting for answers. I'll give you an example : a friend of mine asked a question on relationships. I received information about a car that was about to break and a young child's health condition. My car broke down 2 days later and my child got a flu. In such cases I get confused and it gets hard to distinguish between the info that's meant for me and the querent. I recently did a reading for someone, I really focused on the querent and the question, got the info and now I'm starting to think that the info might have been connected to me again and has nothing to do with the person. Have you ever had such situations and what would you suggest?
P. S. I ordered a new deck which will only be used for readings for others. I hope my Guides hear this

Thanks in advance!

[Joan Marie]

Thanks for this post. It really made me laugh. I am impressed at how specific your reading was about car trouble and illness.

Maybe it is the deck. I've never heard of that before, a deck being so focused on giving messages to just one person but I would say, lucky you!

Good idea getting a dedicated deck for "others."
I'm interested to hear how that works out for you.

[Red ivy]

Thanks for this post. It really made me laugh. I am impressed at how specific your reading was about car trouble and illness.

Maybe it is the deck. I've never heard of that before, a deck being so focused on giving messages to just one person but I would say, lucky you!

Good idea getting a dedicated deck for "others."
I'm interested to hear how that works out for you.

Thanks for the reply! Haha yeah, I feel the cards really giving me very straight messages. Can't wait for the new deck and hopefully try it out here to receive some reading reviews!

[Carlos Escobel]

I went through a version of this when I was new in as much as I could always 'see' this message about me beckoning even though I was reading for someone else.

[Diana]

I went through a version of this when I was new in as much as I could always 'see' this message about me beckoning even though I was reading for someone else.

I would think that this could be reassuring for a beginner, as it shows that there is some truth in what we're seeing. It's not just hearsay - it's really happening. Sort of like a confidence builder.

And now hello to Red ivy, and a warm welcome to the forum.

Regarding the initial post, I respect your feeling that it's the deck that is the "wrong" one. You're not new to tarot after all and have had time to get acquainted with it. However, I think it's too easy for a workman to blame his tools.

Tarot cards are in the end, just pieces of cardboard with pictures on them. 78 cards and an infinity it would seem of stories to narrate to us while we sit around the fire listening to them. They're just pages in a book. But there's only one book. It's given different names - but it's the same book. The Tarot. (That being said, not all tarot decks are Tarot. Some pretend to be. And are good actors too - and sometimes people fall for it.)

[Libra]

I've literally had 2 copies of the same deck work with querents or not at ALL, so I easily get this! I definitely have decks that are straight up only for me to use for myself - yet a different printing of the same deck will work beautifully for reading for others.

The other thing that it's consistent for me - if I do a bunch of readings for other people all in a row, I'll end up with this bigger message that is only made clear when you look at all of the readings together, that is clearly meant for me. Sometimes if I'm having trouble getting the message for myself, I'll use that to my advantage and offer free readings en masse and see what comes up. I think here, it's the universe bringing the right people to me to put that puzzle together and I love it.

[Diana]

The other thing that it's consistent for me - if I do a bunch of readings for other people all in a row, I'll end up with this bigger message that is only made clear when you look at all of the readings together, that is clearly meant for me. Sometimes if I'm having trouble getting the message for myself, I'll use that to my advantage and offer free readings en masse and see what comes up. I think here, it's the universe bringing the right people to me to put that puzzle together and I love it.

Reminds me of something in French which is hard to translate but I'll give it a shot, although the actual play on words, the "language of the birds" as it's known as, is impossible to translate. Note that in French the word "jeu" (game) and "je" (meaning "I") is pronounced almost the same.

"Est ce que le Tarot est un jeu de cartes, ou des cartes du je", i.e. "Is the Tarot a game of cards, or a game of I" ? I think the Tarot can always have a message for us personally if we care to look and listen.

[archimedes]

I think this reflects something about human nature - we are all ultimately the centers of our own universes.
I'd suggest that you really need to put yourself in your querent's shoes, spend time talking with them and really feel their concerns and what you know of their life as you read. You could also initiate a discussion about the cards; use your understanding of the meaning and ask them what they see and whether it resonates with something going on in their life.

To me - and you and others may feel differently, this is just my personal position an I'm sharing it in case it is useful - Tarot isn't about getting information from outside, but rather opening up your inner windows, so with this, I'd suggest that your subconscious knew your child was looking faintly off-colour and your car had a funny noise that your conscious self hadn't picked up.

[Red ivy]

Hey there! Thanks everyone for the replies! I appreciate your views on this. It seems like I have found a way. I do the readings for myself more often (a daily card, for example), so my Guides have a chance to inform me on what they see as important for me to know. I tried out free readings for total strangers online and it works, no information on my stuff anymore

[Symph]

To a lesser degree, I do this too. Maybe not so specifically, but my readings can be generic, and reflect my worldview rather than being straight channeled information. I feel it's usually a mixture of the two, parts are pretty on point but other parts are clearly me just saying what I would do or how I'd view the situation if it were me. Like someone said before, I think the answer is just gaining more of a mental ability to truly set yourself aside and disappear as the other person becomes your only focus. I think meditation is a great way to help with this. I do believe in guides, but I don't necessarily think they work quite how we think, as actual invisible people telling us things. There is a degree to which I believe the Tarot is mirroring our own consciousness back to us, and we are pulling from "the ether" or "the field" or that unnameable thing that mystics have pondered for ages.

But yes don't get the impression I am in any way implying you are selfish, I have the same problem and am learning to work on it too, it's just human nature to view things from our own perspective and learning to disappear into the void of meditation can be a solution to that. Just my 2 cents anyway

[Symph]

Hey there! Thanks everyone for the replies! I appreciate your views on this. It seems like I have found a way. I do the readings for myself more often (a daily card, for example), so my Guides have a chance to inform me on what they see as important for me to know. I tried out free readings for total strangers online and it works, no information on my stuff anymore

didn't even see this... kinda makes all that stuff I just said null and void haha oh well

[Diana]

didn't even see this... kinda makes all that stuff I just said null and void haha oh well

Hmmm.. seems unlikely that. You made some very interesting points. I'll get back to it tomorrow I think.

[archimedes]

didn't even see this... kinda makes all that stuff I just said null and void haha oh well

not at all.... with forum questions, there are many others who may have similar experiences who can benefit from a range of answers even if the OP's problem is resolved.

[Diana]

[media][/media]

To a lesser degree, I do this too. Maybe not so specifically, but my readings can be generic, and reflect my worldview rather than being straight channeled information. I feel it's usually a mixture of the two, parts are pretty on point but other parts are clearly me just saying what I would do or how I'd view the situation if it were me. Like someone said before, I think the answer is just gaining more of a mental ability to truly set yourself aside and disappear as the other person becomes your only focus. I think meditation is a great way to help with this. I do believe in guides, but I don't necessarily think they work quite how we think, as actual invisible people telling us things. There is a degree to which I believe the Tarot is mirroring our own consciousness back to us, and we are pulling from "the ether" or "the field" or that unnameable thing that mystics have pondered for ages.

But yes don't get the impression I am in any way implying you are selfish, I have the same problem and am learning to work on it too, it's just human nature to view things from our own perspective and learning to disappear into the void of meditation can be a solution to that. Just my 2 cents anyway

Hi Symph. Thanks for this post.

It's essential of course to put oneself out of the picture when one is doing a reading for someone else. One has to into it without any personal judgements or considerations or prejudices. Meditation is of course a very good way to do this as we become "empty" when we meditate - although of course this is not really so, we only put aside our own ego to free up space for more transcendental things. There are maybe other ways to do this, but I don't know them.

I don't think either that there are any guides helping us with our tarot readings. But maybe they do. I think the only guide we need is the Tarot itself - why would one need more ? Everything is there in the cards. We don't need a guide to read a book - we just open it and read the words or listen if it's an audio book.

Personally I've never had a "guide" helping me with a reading. But we need to be as BLANK and therefore impartial as possible when reading for others.

I believe The Tarot has a kind of a "soul". Not really but that's the nearest word I can find. The Tarot's soul is embodied in The Papesse (High Priestess). It's usually her that I focus on when I'm doing a reading, and not so much even the person I'm reading for.