Cult of Tarot Forum

Are you on good terms with your inner child? How well do you know your inner child? Is there really such a thing, you may ask?

Well, the inner child is a metaphor (and one that a child would like) for the aspect of our character and memories that was shaped in childhood.

You may know Freud's theory that our sense of person has three aspects: the childlike, bolshy, uncontrolled Id; the strict, controlling, admonishing Superego (the voice of our parents, religion and conscience), and then the Ego, the adult who has to reach control over BOTH other aspects. Like an iceberg, only Ego is visible, the rest is under the surface, internalized or suppressed - in the unconscious part of ourselves.



"Where Id was, Ego shall rule," Freud says. But how can the whole iceberg can hover above the surface? Maybe the best we can hope for is a compromise?



Ideally, rational mature thought can take over the reins - but is the ideal person really one who has made his inner child and inner parent voice shut up forever?

C.G. Jung took a kindlier view of the Id and recognized this childlike part of ourselves (that can become visible when we lose control over ourselves and live out joy, fear or anger without restrictions - something that is seen as embarrassing). He saw in it an archetype that is not only bolshy and wild but also creative, sensitive and honest, and he replaced Freud's Latin terms with the metaphors of Parent, Adult and Child Ego State.



I remember the boom of Transaction Analysis which also uses the idea of the Child, Adult and Parent within us to analyze who we interact with others. We all know conversations where one part played the parent, the other the child - asymmetrical and not satisfying for either part.



Again, the inner child either must either grow up or shut up...

But there is also this sculpture I saw on a news site:



Here, it's not the inner children who have to be controlled and made to shut up, but it's the adults with their grudges, disappointments, distrust and pessimism that have to listen to their inner children. Here, the inner child is a warm core of optimism and trust: in the future, in others and in ourselves.

Everybody who has spent more than half an hour with a child knows that children are no ideal creatures. Neither is our inner child. It's somewhere between Freud's brat who can't even wait two minutes for a piece of chocolate or attention, and the loving, gentle child of the sculpture.

So many people have tried to educate and control our inner children, including our own selves, that it's a delicate business to try and reach the inner child with our tarot exercise. I'm no psychologist and no therapist (only an educator), keep that in mind.

But I want to reassure my inner child and get to know her better. I heard a lot about her. Do I know her?

All this was the introduction to a tarot exercise which will help us get into touch with our inner child.

Here is the exercise. It evolved when I did the whole process myself, with a deck I love. The results were very powerful for me.

1. Pick a deck that you feel comfortable with, perhaps one with a childhood vibe.

2. Go through the deck like a picture book, focus on the images alone (disregard traditional card meanings). If a card reminds you of your childhood, put it to one side. The cards that echo no childhood feeling, put away. Don't analyze. Just say to each card yes or no.

3. Take the cards with childhood feeling and sort them into two heaps. One for positive feelings, the other for negative feelings. [If you find it too hard to deal with the negative memories, don't do this. Or don't do it alone.]

4. Pick the three strongest positive cards, and the three strongest negative cards. Strong means: the cards that evoke the strongest echo. Put them on the table together. This is your picture book.

5. Now that you have found the six cards that evoke childhood memories, think about each one and try to remember the child you were, the situations you found yourself in, and the feelings you had. Sometimes the cards can be arranged as pairs or groups.

6. Pick an additional card that encourages, reassures and embraces the child you were.

7. If you want to, write down what came up.

It's a very open exercise, and this is how it worked for me. If you want to pick two or four cards, go ahead. This is just an idea that worked well for me.

What deck did you use, Nemia?

My beloved Silhouettes. It was a reading that had a strong impact on me. The deck recalls such strong memories and emotions in me that I can read this reading like a picture book.

Good memories of my father vs bad ones

feeling friendship vs feeling excluded (watching others get presents, I get none)

Feeling strong and free vs feeling helpless and vulnerable

all the cards associated with negative childhood memories

all the cards associated with positive childhood memories


I believe in readings where we pick and choose cards. Even a card chosen with open eyes reveals stories, images, memories and echoes of feelings that we don't expect.

I am very impressed with how well the Silhouette Tarot worked on this spread. Yes, choosing your cards is different and can be very powerful. This spread is, for sure. I don't have the Silhouette deck, unfortunately!! I have an automatic search for it on ebay. Mesa September is creating another deck, I believe and if so, I will NOT let it slip through my fingers so easily!!

Any deck that you like can work. A work whose art you like and find evocative. And go through it with a light hand. Any echo from your childhood? To the one side. Nothing? To the other. Only afterwards, you'll understand the topics and patterns.

What a great practice! Nice deck too. I find myself racking my brain for the deck that this would feel safe with. Maybe my Gaian...hmmm, I think I have a few choices. I am going to post my result when I am done.