Question: Is politeness a form of insincerity?
I am going to politely recognise the validity of chiscotheque's approach but use the Thoth deck.
Left: In what way is politeness a form of insincerity and what is the effect?
8 of Swords - "Interference" - Fixed (8) ideas (Swords/Air) - Jupiter (idealism) in Gemini (doubts and inner conflicts).
The two plain, orderly, symmetrical central swords with downward pointing tips, representing your peaceful and civilised view of the world, are crossed and disrupted by an array of swords with peculiar designs. So politeness can be a way of ignoring other people's opinions when they differ from yours.
Each of the crossing swords has a different design, but the idealistic peacemaker, represented by the two vertical swords, dismissively bundles together every differing opinion as merely eccentric aberrations. So there is a snobbish tendency for polite people to infuriatingly disregard the passions of those they confront, and not to give serious attention to the finer points of various approaches to an issue.
Maintaining a calm exterior gives one the sensation of moral and intellectual superiority. But this can become more important than risking one's own true, deeply held, eccentric opinions in honest debate. So politeness can be a way of using apparent straightforwardness and simplicity to get one's own way - a sneaky form of manipulation. Self-love is dangerous to all who live within its shadow.
Right: In what way is politeness not a form of insincerity and what is the effect?
4 of Wands - "Completion" - Solidified (4) will (Wands/Fire) - Venus (charm and accommodation) in balanced combination with Aries (fighting spirit and a desire to conquer).
This card is very much a combination of opposites. You can be sincerely loving and respectful while insisting on the validity of your opinion.
The circle represents completion, an insight into totality, which includes opposites. Politeness is not always the same thing as misrepresenting your true feelings (lying) or avoiding conflict (cowardice), but recognises the shared humanity of all who hold differing views. As such it takes a higher spiritual view of human nature, transcending individual differences. There is a sun at the centre of the wheel, representing a positive creative force.
Centre: What is politeness?
Queen of Disks - Water of Earth
The Queen is facing away from us in a non-confrontational attitude of repose, though the enormous horns on her head announce that she has the capacity to defend herself if challenged. Politeness is not the same thing as weakness. But because we do not see her face there is the suggestion that politeness can be a strategy used to conceal our true identity. Also her passivity suggests that habitual politeness can be an excuse for a lazy withdrawal from society and an avoidance of conflict.
She is looking out over a desert-like landscape, which nevertheless contains palm trees, a river and irrigation channels. So politeness is attempting to bring nourishment to a world of meagreness and loneliness. There is also patience within politeness. She is not forcing change on the landscape or compelling others to do her bidding.
She is sitting on a pineapple throne, suggesting extravagantly fertile abundance hidden beneath a forbidding rind of convention. The globe she holds is covered by a network of overlapping circles, demonstrating that individuals in human society are intimately connected with one other. Politeness provides the fond embrace that makes life on earth within human society harmonious and secure. The ram standing on a globe behind the Queen's pineapple throne announces that politeness does not necessarily eradicate our capacity for confrontation.