Cult of Tarot Forum

June 14: This card shows how my inspiration and creativity is manifesting.
(Birth of the Muses)

Deck: Sola Busca Revisited 2.0

"Elaine Wilkinson transformed the deck into something workable for today's readers, utilizing only the original art (some severely manipulated). She calls it SOLA BUSCA REVISITED. Because, it's just a shame not to use these amazing old images. As such, this is NOT the deck for historians or collectors who want all the original images." - Magical Omaha

Archetype for Today: Solomon or the Philosopher-KIng


A historian or collector would have another name for this card but I have a lot in common with a person I don't think of as "Elaine" but "Seven" as in TarotBySeven because I have been pouring and pouring myself into a project as grand in its way as they took on when they wanted to make a Sola Busca deck modern tarot readers to read with.

I didn't think about ~that~ when I decided last night I'd use "my Sola Busca" which I'd forgotten was not a museum replica but a modern version, just as (in some cases more) beautiful than the original. But things are unconventional. This card is not what and where it would be in a traditional Sola Busca and yet...

it feels perfect. I see the Philsopher-Kings of the Ancient times in this card of which Solomon was but one and perhaps one of the more recent than those of even more ancient lands than Israel and Judea. Solomon ruled a United Land; he was a powerful but benevolent mythical leader that I was brought up to believe was a factual, historical man. But he is (probably) an archetypal literally figure created from this sprawling oral and written combination that inspired some extraordinary literary works and concepts in all the Abramic religions and who gave a very young me the idea that "magick has to be real because King Solomon had magick" and by young me, I mean 6-7 years old.

I never doubted that Solomon had existed and I loved his story and the story of his father David so much and even as a little Christian girl, I wept and wept and wept when I was old enough to read stories of what happened to the Temple of Solomon and Jerusalem and all of it. And the world soon after had all these other life lessons to teach me about wars and slavery and patriarchy and nationalism and power corrupting just about anyone who ever got a hold of it.

But through it all, through a lifetime of growing up learning how BAD humans to could be to each other... there were these other stories, rarer but more precious of factual people and fictional people who were Philosopher-Kings like Solomon. Who ruled wisely united and prosperous kingdoms, who were full of magic and didn't persecute witches but invited them to dinner (Solomon and the Witch of Endor) to do VERY WITCHY things together...

And having this faith in the existence of Solomon, his Temple, his magic, his summoning of archangels and demons alike, his messing around with someone as sexy as my imagination painted the witch of Endor and his use of magick to make his kingdom better than it had ever been (or would ever be?)

That triggered something in me then (age 11-12) and it triggers it now (52). This card is telling me not to give up on this world and its leadership because anything that can exist in archetype can be brought out to be REAL LIFE with enough work.

And my creativity and ambition has been just exploding to the point I've had to temper it. The Monarch on today's card is a magician garbed in Red, the color of passionate and creative intensity. He's got his wand, he's talking to people with it raised but he is also sitting down and he's not channeling power like the Magus in other decks. His wand (or scepter) is not raised to heaven but being used to direct his own power outwards vs. calling the force of heaven into the form of earth. He's working as a person with people, from a firm foundation with what I see as an orphic egg at his side, his treasure but also his shield.

(2) June 15: This card shows us our hearth, the fire at the center of our life and home, and how to tend to it.
(Vestalia - An ancient Roman festival dedicated to Vesta, Goddess of the Hearth)

Archetype For Today: The Watcher

The Page of Pentacles is a card that comes up a great deal as a significator for me. I had a breakthrough earlier in identifying them as my "Inner Young Person" and the persona that is built from what I remember of my life from about 12-22.

After I drew it but before I could sit and type up my reading interpretation, I'd had to run off for errands- I had to rush a dog walk in, and called Uber and went to UV Treatment and then took a bus vs. Uber home. Both were relaxing and stress-free, I got some reading of James Hillman's "The Soul Code" along the way. Then when I got off the bus in front of Fred Meyers, I remembered life partner had prescriptions and cheerfully I went to go grab them, then was inspired by the fact they now invite vaccinated people to shop maskless to grab a few things- mostly cheap discount produce deli items that were 50% (I shamelessly eat "day old" food with frugal gusto), then walked home.

That was so exhausting. But satisfying. And now that I've looked at my card and today's topic? I'm just smiling. Because that was my morning from about 8:30 am -- 11 am. I was "feeding my birds" seeing to things of health and hearth, completely content the way The Page (and they are a page to me today regardless of what their actual intended title actually is - I'm loving working with a "mystery" deck) seems to be in feeding and watching the birds.

I tend to my home and family through just doing the mundane things like grocery shopping, washing dishes, laundry, dog walks, food prep with the same goodwill and pleasure that I give writing about tarot. It can all be as much a pleasure if I simply let it be, if I keep myself present and caring about the people I'm in the company of instead of impatiently trying to get away to do something "important" or "fun" or "by myself".

(3) June 16: Remembrance of the tears of Isis causing the Nile River to overflow. This card shows what our emotions are telling us at this time. (Night of the Teardrop )

Deck: Sola Busca Revisited 2.0

Archetype For Today: The Pestle


Pestle: a heavy tool with a rounded end, used for crushing and grinding substances such as spices or drugs, typically in a mortar.

"The mortar and pestle has long been used as a pharmaceutical symbol in Britain and on the European mainland... tools of traditional pharmacy, hence their use as an easily recognizable visual motif." Pharmaceutical Symbols" article by Royal Pharmaceutical Society

"Magic-users normally use mortar and pestles to grind ingredients for magical spells, kitchen witchery, incense, and alchemy...Mortars and Pestles have been in use by cooks, healers, and magicians for millennia. There is evidence of their common use in Egypt prior to the 1500s BCE. The word mortar comes from the Latin mortarium meaning “a receptacle for processing” or “the product of grinding or pounding”. The word pestle comes from pistillum meaning “pounder” A mortar and pestle is a symbol of wort cunning and pharmacy, as it is a tool used by both herbalists and pharmacists (note the Walgreens logo)". - from Witchipedia

So now that I've applied a personal title to what is ~probably~ intended as the Ace of Wands? Let's get to the reading

This card shows what our emotions are telling us at this time. (Night of the Teardrop )

I'm searching and searching my heart for something to offer up to the Night of the Teardrop, to the mythic story of Isis weeping for her Osiris, of Mary for Jesus. I have memories of that kind of grief but I can't tap into them, especially on an emotional level right now- and I think The Pestle is explaining why.

About ten days ago, I was just all over the place because my ex-life partner (who is trans, working but disabled and very mentally/emotionally UN-well, diabetic and a cancer survivor and currently in Texas at his aunt's funeral) was talking to me in text about their despair, apathy, grief, anger, the memories of ways they'd been wronged or victimized... and my natural empathy kicked in. Not only did I react as a witness (and part of the narrative) and have my own emotions about their emotions based on my role in the story (we'd been life partners from start of 2000- to middle of 2013)...

... but I started feeling all their heartbreaking anguish like it was my own.

This happens sometimes. Its how I train-wrecked myself as a professional tarot reader and life coach more than once. But it hadn't happened in a long, long, long time.

Funny enough, it was a similar episode between Murray Joel and myself -- on September 12th 2020 that caused me to stop roleplaying, stop MMOing, to clean my room, get out my tarot cards, and the next day or the day after... I joined Cult of Tarot and start this new life chapter.

But I took everything Murray Joel as feeling, and what I was feeling, and memories of shared experiences and my fear that they were going to commit suicide... I took all of it and it was like I was metaphorically The Pestal, The Mortar... and the raw material getting ground all up and it took several days. They were emotionally messy days...

and then I exploded at someone over something small that had nothing to do with Murray Joel or my now dead for 13 years ex-girlfriend the poet Mary Van Ry who committed suicide months after returning from 18 months fighting as a lieutenant in the Army Reserves (hiding the fact she was a lesbian every moment she was there) in Iraq during that war.

But I exploded and then with Frank (current life partner) as a witness, I wept and wept and from some deep place inside me, came the story of the last night I saw Mary Van Ry alive (and it was an Amazing Night and what it was like less than 48 hours later, to get the call from her brother that he'd found her dead in her apartment.

I cried the Tears of Isis -that evening- and it was about a week ago? I don't remember exactly when. But something old and deep came spilling out of me but in the most cathartic and cleansing way.....

I let go (for the now at least)

I let go of grief of my beautiful but damaged Mary Van Ry losing her lifelong battle to her inner demons the Sunday morning after we'd spent such a triumphant and perfect Friday evening together with Murray Joel and Mary's other best friend Marcus Tanner...

I let go to the guilt, shame, fear involving Murray Joel too.

And now I look at words from that week and see things. It was 8 days ago

6/08/2021 (To Murray Joel in DM)
Hi there honey. I hope you are doing good. I had a long but good day doing very social based things and then wrote in a journal the story of the last night we saw Mary Van Ry. Doing that was good for me but its put me in a really quiet "I'm just playing Minecraft tonight" because it left me not sad/bad/mad but raw. Really over-exposed introvert needs their cave tonight raw.
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(that was early on that Tueday. A few hours later and I ended up having a huge fight with something because I had my Discord off... but I was sitting in living room writing with Frank having his on and someone he was listening to started talking about something I got livid over so I jumped on and yelled, then had my Tears of Isis and catharsis. I told Murray Joel about all of it- and more- the next day.)
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6/09/2021
So I almost made it through yesterday without a melt-down.

I was sitting at laptop around 7 pm, having really big feelz about Mary but containing them. I was out of conversations with everyone but Frank had Discord on.

And then something was said in the channel that Frank was listening to and I basically heard "It's Laurel's fault this werewolf game died and you don't get to play werewolf any more."

And I lost it completely. It took about 10 minutes to get myself outside to walk, but I came back, yelled at Jen Schiavone's Grant for saying that, yelled at them about all the things I was feeling about Mary, about you, about... everything I was upset about....

then I got done with that, sat in the living room where I am right now... and I bawled and told the story of the basketball game night in words out loud to Frank and talked about what it was like to be reliving all of that again. I had to go slow, I was hyperventilating, but I got the words out and I said them...

... and afterward, I felt much, much better. It was cathardic.

Then I started freaking out because I yelled at Grant and now there was going to be MORE drama.

But there wasn't. Around 11 pm, I turned on Discord just to see. They had said 2-3 very calm sentences.

I responded. We worked it out and I didn't go to bed angry.

(((( I will be back. Dog just came to ask to go out ))


So...

What has been going on -in my head- about you since Memorial Day is "Mery is going to kill themselves like Mary or die of diabetes through self-neglect."

I have told this to 4-5 people. But not you. Now I'm telling you that I've been really, really scared for you.

You've talked about how its really hard to be motivated about anything.

I wanted to tell ~you~ that I am really, really scared for you. I know we already had the "Mery, you have got to pull your brain to the present and have a life of Now that will bring you motivation and joy."

And I know you agree, its just the how to get from "I feel this" to that "This is how I -want- to feel" that just.. missing? Because of how depressed you are, because its been a long, long depression with physical pain mixed in and you know, the world outside our apartments?

Its seriously FUCKED up.

... I tear myself up over you being where you are. Because it feels so fucking unfair that we got you out of Mission and things were... if not always perfect? At least better than they are right now. It feels so fucking unfair that a mental illness is eating you up the same way cancer is eating Jen Tanner. But here is the thing. Your [depression] is a disease, just like cancer. And its not YOUR FAULT that this is happening to you either.
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Murray took that all really well actually. He told me "Right. I mean -- the change is a challenge. You're not wrong and I think I finally accepted it when trying to pretend it wasn't even happening. I just couldn't do anything more and I feel toxic. Really toxic.
Even though I really am not - I always feel sometime I'll just get mad for no reason."

Today's card, The Pestle, is what its like to have had that expression so RECENTLY but be on the other side of it, to have feelings about having -had- feelings... such intense feelings...

to have had such a profound spiritually alchemical experience that is 100% "Night of the Teardrop" material....

... but it is in the recent past, not the present, not the future. Its echoing out still, but the experience changed me and added something new, something better, to several relationships of me-them for me, especially with Murray Joel.

4. June 17: Celebrating the ancient Roman goddess for whom the month of June is named. This card shows us an area of fertile growth in our lives.
(Juno, Goddess of Fertility and Union)

Deck: Sola Busca Revisited 2.0

Archetype For Today: Sisyphus


From What we can learn from Sisyphus and his rock by Chavi Kurmar
"Sisyphus teaches us to never give in to circumstantial disappointments or try to escape from the failures, rather accept failures the same way we accept our achievements. And most importantly, no matter how much we lose in our quest, we must never back down till we fulfill our potential."


Intuition suggests to be that this is conventionally the Ace of Disks/Pentacles and my overall impression of the card is a favorite one. That hard-working middle kerub doesn't seem like his burden is breaking him. If anything it is proud of itself but annoyed its siblings seem so bored.

A very different presentation than Sisyphus in traditional myth but my brain put them -- and Juno -- into association immediately.

Juno doesn't get the veneration as an archetype as she deserves. She got a month but not a planet and it feels like in modern thought, we sure blame Mother (the archetype) for a lot or else we worship her as Mother Nature and the Great Mother in neo-pagan and Green politics but not "Mom" who was expected by society to have kids, raise them and provide for them and be their wellspring and somehow paradoxically both The Boss and The Minion to their kids.

I just finished Chapter Three of James Hillman's "The Soul's Code yesterday and it was called "The Parental Fallacy" I ~think~ and had a LOT to say about stuff relating to modern society's dual resentment/worship of mothers (especially) and fathers.

Being "mom" is a lot like being Sisphhus and how you deal with the never-ending work (which might be thankless or futile) in terms of attitude makes the biggest difference. Laugh a lot, love a lot, love your lazy siblings and carry that rock happily? And your life work no matter how heavy, big, unappreciated by others it is? Find your joy in doing it? And you won't become the dark-aspect of Hera, the Ugly Mother, the Jealous Wife, the Rude Customer, the "Karen".

And where does all this relate to me personally? All over the place. Because doing ~this~ kind of writing and tarot reading really helps me with my self-development and the book about tarot/Qabalah that will be next year's project after six more months of research and just getting my premise and foundation down.

June is one of my favorite months of the year. By June 17th of next year, I'd like to have a rough draft. I'd like the Ace of Disks of today, the "beginning" of something so big to assemble itself over the course of this entire year.

June 18: As the strawberries ripen, this card shows us the sweetness in our lives and encourages us to live in the moment.
(Festival of Strawberries)

Deck: Sola Busca Revisited 2.0

Archetype For Today: The Performer (inspired by Rachelcat's MBTI chart)


This was the perfect card to embody today. I am claiming it as Knight of Disks for my own interpretation of the Sola Busca and a Performer to me is more than someone who entertains an audience. They are someone who is carrying out actions and tasks, they are accomplishing the work required to meet goals. They haven't completed it, they are still in the middle of it. But I'm very much having a day that is both mundanely productive (I'm cleaning my bedroom!), and has had some really important and productive Discord conversations with a couple of friends about life in the Now,

I also feel like I'm getting my diet back on track, baby steps this time. And there will be strawberries dolloped with vanilla yogurt later to celebrate the completion of the room project and to acknowledge the Festival of Strawberries

June 20: In the tradition of scrying at the time of Midsummer, this card shows us a blessing to come.
(Scrying)

Deck: Sola Busca Revisited 2.0

Archetype For Today: The Raven King


During my 7 year hiatus from any kind of tarot/Qabalah, I played a lot of games, listened to a lot of audiobooks, and watched a lot of Netflix and Amazon Prime series, especially those that did involve fantasy, magick, sci-fi or good mundane drama.

One of the series I loved the most was the 2015 British mini series "Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell" but I don't think I watched it until 2019 or even 2020. After watching it, I listened to the audiobook in 2020 during the first couple months of Pandemic, that I can timeline more clearly. It was very long, very dense, but I'm very sure that the experience of listening to it helped nudge me back to tarot/Qabalah and influenced the "how" I did it. Because the theoretical and ceremonial magicians of that book were pretty much like the theoretical and ceremonial magicians I'd studied and been Initiated by back in the 1990s... just living in an alternative Napoleanic period with a little more fantastical to their world than mine. Just a little.

The Raven King comes from there. I won't give spoilers, but there is a character in the book (a cartomancer and street prophet) who is the epitome of The Fool archetype and was a prophet of The Raven King...

and everything about this particular Sola Busca card ties into my head so perfectly with that cartomancer, the way cards were used in that book, and with the Raven King character...

and as a blessing to come? I could not possibly ask for a better one as a practicing magician and a theoretical magician-philosopher type who's not that different (except female and hopefully a little wiser and less arrogant) than Mr. Norrell.

I would happily be, just like Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, "the spell John Uskglass is doing", if the Raven King is working something to save my world from itself the same way the world in that novel needed saving. LOL

June 19: A dedication to the Oak King, who is now near the height of his power in his battle with the Holly King. This card shows us our strength.
(Oak King) (which was supposed to be yesterday. oops.)

Deck: Sola Busca Revisited 2.0

Personal Archetype: The Red KIng


In Alchemy, The Red King is spiritual sulfur (Shin)...was a mixture of mercury (spirit) and sulfur (soul), the marriage of which also represented the spiritual goal of alchemical work.


I love the symbol for Red Sulfur/The Red King:
As an embodiment of my strength, I couldn't have asked for a better one and maybe there's a reason I accidentally got my dates and prompts wrong, lol. I feel like this is an aspect inside myself I really need to draw on more. In Linda Gail Walter's MBTI system, the King of Swords is ESTJ which 16 Personalities calls The Executive and says:

Upholding traditional values with a rigorous and intense nature, Executives are often relied upon to safeguard our communities. While many others are tentative to speak their mind, this group embraces the opportunity to speak up for what’s right and fair. Characteristics: outgoing, analytical, dependable, realistic, efficient.

Those feel like some pretty good characteristics to focus on as strengths this quarter.

8.June 21: We are at the height of the sun’s power, the longest day, in the Northern Hemisphere; OR in the Southern Hemisphere this day is the turning point for the days to get longer. This card shows us how to shine our own light like the Sun. (Summer Solstice)

Deck: Sola Busca Revisited 2.0

Personal Archetype: The Sacred Offering (Renewal)


This time I did glance at what Queen of Tarot had to say about the 8 of Wands and saw the "Renewal of interest" as a suggested meaning (probably from the LWB I never got). In this reading, renewal feels bigger than than and its a very auspicious card because here the wands are -not- in motion like many more recent decks but contained in a strange bowl that I suspect is some kind of device? Finding its name and purpose wasn't an easy google-fu so I will let synchronicity have time to teach me if/when The Powers That Be step in to help.

But over all, especially with the red, leaved base, I got the sense of this card, in its role of teaching me how to shine my own light? It is about making offerings from a place that is sincere, sacred, and solid- and renewal. Giving will be receiving.

9. June 22: This card shows us how to release anxieties or worries, how to enjoy ourselves
(Honey Moon)

Deck: Sola Busca Revisited 2.0

Personal Archetype: The Oathbound (Fidelity)


I spent a long time looking at this card this morning before glancing at today's prompt and came to the conclusion then that its keyword for me was going to be fidelity.

Fidelity: 1)faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support and 2)sexual faithfulness to a spouse or partner.

It is especially #1 that this card brings to mind and it definitely makes me think about today as Honey Moon. I feel like the message I'm getting is to look to the long term, the bigger picture, and to rely on my core support network (life partner, 5-6 best friends) to be the source of how I can both release anxiety and worry but also enjoy myself. To have their back and be loyal, be committed to them- not just during the Best Days, but also the Worst Days... this doesn't mean we won't ever fight, disagree, challenge or conflict. But the outcome of all of that is meant to make us stronger and more helpful, less problematic for each other.

Faithfulness in that definition is owed more than just people, but in today's reading? I'm thinking about me and my people. The card's icongraphy definitely assists in that.

10. – June 23: Like the herbs traditionally gathered on St. John’s Eve, this card shows what protects or heals us.
(Saint John’s Eve)

Deck: Sola Busca Revisited 2.0

Personal Archetype: The Wheel of Change

When I contemplated this card today, several things struck me: The "Rider" was definitely Hermes (or Hermes Trismegistus) ala the winged helmet, that is definitely Thoth's baboon and not a "dog" on the side of it but an Egyptian-style monkey like Ani and the wheel is asymmetrical- the spokes are wonky.

What a wonderful card to be protected and healed by: time, change, Hermes-Thoth. The patron of all magician-philosophers! It makes me feel even more confident that I have a Calling, but I have a finite time to get -all- the work done and enjoy the fruits of my labors. I have 30 years left on the Wheel, give or take a few months on either side. So long as I take good care of myself and my body, I have as much time between now and whatever happens to my soul/daimon/HGA thereafter as I had to grow from 22 to 52. This feels like a calm but certain promise and taking it on faith? Making this one of my personal beliefs, predicting my lifespan and making every day of the ~10,950 days (give or take about 150) well-lived and with challenges and complaints but typically fun and fulfilling?

The belief will make its own reward via magic and mysticism and affirmative psychology

11 June 24: Indian festival of expressing gratitude to teachers. This card reminds us of a lesson we have learned, or an experience or person who taught us something, that we should remember and have gratitude for as we move forward.
(Guru Purnima)

Deck: Sola Busca Revisited 2.0

Personal Archetype: The Troubador (One of a class of 12th-century and 13th-century lyric poets in southern France, northern Italy, and northern Spain, who composed songs in langue d'oc often about courtly love)


I had never heard of Guru Purnima before and appreciate knowing about it now because I do feel gratitude towards teachers in general, mine and everyone else's.

The troubadors have been coming up a lot in things I've been reading about the Renaissance and early tarot + the alchemy of that period. Different authors mentioning them in passing as a way that occult knowledge (deliberately or otherwise) was passed through the culture of that region. When I looked at the card, before I looked at today's topic, it brought all of that to mind. So there feels like a little synchronicity when I see how it connects to teaching and teachers.

We learn a LOT through music and most "poetry" that has deeply affected me has come as song lyrics and verses. Moving forward, singing and sharing, having all the tools of a magician but not staying in a certain place, traveling, feels like one of the things this card is teaching me today.

12. June 25: The card shows us how to ground ourselves and how to connect with the earth’s abundance.
(Parvati, Earth Mother)

Deck: Sola Busca Revisited 2.0

Personal Archetype: Old Geb


The 10 of Cups threw itself up when I was shuffling today and I grabbed it. I immediately sensed it was the 10 of Cups, but not until after I scanned it did I realize it was reversed- and wasn't meant to be read that way, I intuited. So I flipped the picture down and saw the face for what it was, smiled and then started my Sacred Summer Solstice stuff for the day. But I try to read everyone else's threads, just 1-2 people at a time, and just 2-3 posts at a time to appreciate this shared experience. And I did that first before starting this post, feeling especially good in my heart today.

Despite more physical pain than usual because I went on an outing last night then fell alseep in my living room chair and made my sore neck -more- sore.... it has been a really good day for heart. I've been reading/writing with short breaks for almost five hours. Had a good short walk with Sissy and just navigated life in a calm, relaxed way with none of yesterday's "cranky". Despite more physical pain than usual.

Old Geb as a name for the 10 of Cups in this deck came from reading today's prompt. Geb is the Egyptian Earth God, the Creator who is husband-brother-lover of Nuit sky. Geb-Nuit are among my favorite representations of archetypal polarity. I get on a very high horse about gender as a trait applied to most things, but today I'm going to celebrate Parvati aspected as Geb. The abundance that I'm connecting with is emotional (cups) rather than material, but having this sense of emotional completion as my solstice reading closes... it feels like it is emanating outwards and touching on all those other elements/worlds as well.

Today's emotional abundance isn't ecstatic but calm and grounded in relationships with other humans. Not the passionate ones. The more casual, day-to-day ones that I'd describe as "neighborly" whether its the people that live around me or I share space with on Twitter, Facebook, or a forum like this one. Learning to be neighborly is something new and its come about because of Covid-19; I don't take casual friendliness (both given and received) for granted anymore. Something shifted in the experience of empathy with the entire human race over a pandemic and now I am spending less time behind the wall of solitude.

It feels good. Doing this reading was a really good experience.

... I hope to participate the same way, next quarter. I might just put the Sola Busca Revisited 2.0 away until then. The idea of an entire year using it for this and maybe just this is suddenly bizarrely appealing.