Cult of Tarot Forum

I don’t have a huge experience with the cards, but I have experienced time again that a lot of the “text book” definitions of certain cards; lovers, 10 of cups, 2 of cups etc often don’t have this positive, “ultimate” love meaning . Of course I know that no card can be confirmative and only be about love in romantic sense. But I’m looking for what can be the closest to it?

I’d be inclined to think the cups cards could be about love (although may as well be about sadness, mushy feelings), and maybe it also depends on what stage. But I’ve seen it a lot between friends as well, friends who care and love each other, but not in a romantic sense.
“Love at first sight” could be an ace of cups/two of cups thing but it’s definitely not lasting love. Just a seed that may grow into it, but maybe not. So those wouldn’t be love in my definition here, more like infatuation. It’s the start of the suit. And then what happens if they show up in very long term relationships?

If you then go onward in the cups suit, you could expect that love could grow. But not many of the middle cards from 4 of cups to 8 of cups don’t have this meaning (from what I read and my experience). 6 of cups has a childlike ness to it.

And 9 of cups has an element of soltitude and being blissful about what you have. But I’ve seen this card be more about appreciation and self love more than loving a specific other person. Maybe you care a lot about them.
And 10 of cups has sometimes meant the end, not much can happen after that card. So I’ve seen it often in early dating/relationships to mean the bond has grown as far emotionally as it can grow or unrealistic expectations. Or even love for a community.
But maybe it could mean this sort of profound love where someone wants to spend a lifetime with someone if they truly know each other well.

And the court cups card I’ve seen so much in platonic friendships, definitely very positive and strong feelings in long term relationships. But not necessarily romantic love.

And the lovers has been more about choices for me than love.

What are your experiences with this? Maybe I’m a bit too rigid in my view and get lost on trying to find cards, but has some cards or combination of cards meant this sort of romantic love for you? Maybe the wands added to cup cards can change them from platonic to romantic?
Or maybe pentacles to ground the feelings and make them solid and long term. As lasting love is a out sticking to someone even if they put the toilet paper up in the other direction than you want.

I think we live in a culture that over emphasizes romantic love and sexual lust-- and has for longer than the RWS deck has been in print. So this comes out a lot in how people are taught to interpret cards but my personal experiences mirror your own.

What got really helpful for me as a reader was to start incorporating in the Greek idea of 8 Kinds of Love, looking at all the other love-based relationships that people could have. Once I started looking towards family, friends, self-love, philanthropy, even patriotism or fanaticism it really expanded my readings.

Of course, most people still want readings specifically about dating or domestic partnerships

TheLoracular wrote: ↑20 Dec 2020, 14:34 I think we live in a culture that over emphasizes romantic love and sexual lust-- and has for longer than the RWS deck has been in print. So this comes out a lot in how people are taught to interpret cards but my personal experiences mirror your own.

What got really helpful for me as a reader was to start incorporating in the Greek idea of 8 Kinds of Love, looking at all the other love-based relationships that people could have. Once I started looking towards family, friends, self-love, philanthropy, even patriotism or fanaticism it really expanded my readings.

Of course, most people still want readings specifically about dating or domestic partnerships

This is great! Thanks for the mention of the 8 types of love. That would make the readings a bit more flexible and give the cards a break from being forced into certain boxes of definitions that may be more artificial than practical!
I feel sometimes the cards get a bit mischievous when being forced a bit too much. “Ok, you won’t listen so yeah sure, here’s the unicorn thing you are looking for”.

I think TLC nailed it. Cards are way too multifaceted to nail down cards to point out "these cards mean love". It is the interplay of many cards that would point out "maybes" and what-ifs". And, of course, it all depends on what kind of love we're talking about: Even then, what kind of love? It could be a platonic love that develops into a stronger love that develops into yet another love after that... We all hope for that love-at-first sight, sweep you off your feet, movie-love. I don't think tarot can predict any such thing. That, too, is the stuff of film and fantasy.

To piggy back on what others have said...
Cards that are not traditionally associated with romance/love can be as well - depending on the reading and more specifically you.

For example - before meeting my SO I did a romance/love spread and the Queen of Wands showed up consistently.
That card has ended up representing her pretty accurately.

Additionally "Death" showed up alot in these readings.
Not your typical "romance" card but it represented it well.