Hi Kare! I have completed your reading
I'm honoured to be your first Thoth reader! You are the very first person I have ever read for, so that's a nice balance
For the first card, the present, we have inverted Strength (AKA 9 of Wands). Thoth was not originally designed to have reversals, but as you mentioned you were a bit stuck at the moment it may be that your own strength is working against you and blocking you in some way. Wands being a fire suit, perhaps it is an issue either of inner nourishment/fuel or motivation that's eluding you so far. It's linked to the foundation Sephiroth, Yesod, and issues of stability (which is important for any creative enterprise). It might be worth looking at ways to feel more grounded as you proceed. The wands are also transforming into arrows, indicating movement; the reversal means they are pointing upwards rather than downwards which is the norm. Perhaps this indicates your current focus is on spiritual rather than more earthy subject matter?
Card two, representing the challenge affecting you, is 10 of Wands, Oppression (another fire card!). The Sephiroth for this is Malkuth, which needs the other Sephiroth for structure, but is not directly linked to them. It's a wild, sometimes destructive energy which has escaped its bounds and become unthinking. On the positive side, it is fire in its wildest form, but is weighed down by expectation of results and unable to flow mindfully and naturally. You could compare this odd paradox between the heavy metal of wands and the freedom of the creative flame to the difference between the fluidity and potential of molten metal to the fixedness of set metal. You may be clinging to an unhelpful instinct, or reliance on rules, in order to help you through the chaos of creativity but become trapped by it.
3 represents the past, and is the Princess of Wands. This suggests you have felt a hunger for life and experiences, courage, and emotions which shift and transform quickly. In difficult moments it can also indicate a struggle to find a sense of depth and security at times, fire being ever-changing. Perhaps even difficulties in being sure what your feelings are.
Card 4, the future, is the Prince of Wands. It's really interesting that you are getting so many fire/wand cards, as I shuffled very thoroughly and the deck was already jumbled up. It does seem to stress the issue of motivation and stability and of getting the balance right between them, as well as stressing communication, which is a really good sign for a writer. With this you have moved from the Earth of Fire (the 3rd card) to the Air of Fire, suggesting you can expect some freedom from the stuck-ness you faced right at the beginning. It suggests you might do well channelling a flowing type of fire, being rather romantic and impulsive. You can channel great qualities of determination and courage, energy and speed, and something of a trickster energy. This can sometimes indicate humour gone a bit too far, if it targets harmless people, but it's a great force for good if channelled wisely.
For 5, your conscious goals or aspirations, you have the inverted Queen of Wands. It might be worth being open to other routes, as your Oppression card indicated something is blocking your flow. THe amount of Wand courts is interesting, especially as you have a natural progression up to the higher levels. In Thoth the Queen of Wands indicates a somewhat uneasy truce, with a water-fire energy, suggesting you want to reconcile two extremes. This card is a really good goal- she has the enthusiasm of fire tempered by warm sympathy and creativity. It's very expansive, so perhaps it would be worth looking at your life in the whole rather than forcing yourself to specialise too early. Observation and understanding of others seems to be a strong point, so long as you don't fall into the trap of getting too critical of them. However the amount of fire suggests writing about what gives you joy and motivation in life could help you unite your different aims, rather than bracketing off into different areas.
The subconscious element, 6, is the Knight of Wands. You have inspiration and lots of ideas and ideals within you which you can channel. This is a fire-fire card, with no other elements modifying. This can mean you have trouble carrying things through. To channel your inspiration and drive successfully it will help to cultivate the flow, grounding, and space of the other cards. This is a vital creative spark that needs other things to grow and flourish, like a springboard into the ocean of creativity. But at some point you have to make that vital leap and do something physical to bring it about.
From here you leave the Fire/Wands suit entirely, starting off with water. The first advice given in card 7 is Luxury, the Four of Cups. This suggests the idea is still vital but has lost the initial purity of vision. This happens with most creative projects and is the point at which many give up. Stability here is giving way to individuality. Don't panic if you find a dead end; don't be afraid to prune off anything which doesn't ring true.
8, external influences, is inverted 6 of swords, Science. Again I advise not placing too much focus on inverted cards- with Thoth I find all the cards have a shadow side within them. At most it suggests you may find it a bit more challenging in this area. This is generally a good card indicating balance and humanity, and a perfect balance of mind and morals. The shape echoes the Rosicrucian Cross in the middle, connected with alchemists and renewal. Perhaps your observational skills can help you to harness your emotional side and renew your inspiration. The central rose symbolism makes me wonder if nature could be a helpful seed or starting point into your world.
9, your hopes and fears, are inverted 7 of Swords, futility. You might be worried it's all pointless. However in Thoth 7 of Swords issues are slightly moderated. You might be seeing things as worse than they are. You are open to compromise and change, but this may or may not be helpful. Part of the problem in this situation could be lots of little ideas blocking your one big idea. Try to see which impulse in you is strongest and give it space to work. What interests you the most and inspires you time and time again? What do you find yourself regretting putting aside, ideas-wise?
FInally, you have inverted defeat, 5 of Wands. It suggests sentimentality is something to avoid; try not to be scared of describing things honestly. The central rose is absent, suggesting further digging to find and grow your central motif is normal and to be expected. Sometimes scattering your thoughts can cause confusion rather than variety; it will help you to balance your more intuitive side with your precise observational skills to keep your structure.
In general I consider this an encouraging spread suggesting you have a lot of creative fire, observational skill and love of life. There are pitfalls as in any creative path but also many routes you can take through them. I feel like a central nature-image could help you hold your work together and give you the nourishment to keep your creative fire burning; so could allowing yourself to really luxuriate and absorb the sensory world around you. The emphasis on communication suits suggest observing people around you would help with structure; perhaps more friends you are very close to rather than traditional love-relationships. Try not to cling to too many ideas at first-perhaps try one strong visual image that calls to you and build around that.
Sorry this reading is so long! Thoth is a very 'talky' deck with dense symbolism and quite uncompromising, I hope you enjoyed reading and I'd love to know if it helps. I like to hear suggestions for improving too of course
especially as I'm a newbie!
Jo xxxx