Sacred Days- Aoife

[Aoife]

1. Mother of Dreams
This card reminds us to look for a particular message in our dreams tonight. The ancients believed that our dreams on this night foretold some of the important events in the coming year.
It's my intention to come back tomorrow to post reflections on the card arising from any dreams overnight.
Hudes Tarot -
Ace of Cups

[Aoife]

I dreamt -
I'm in the company of another woman. We're walking side by side down very wide steps, formed from a cliff face, that have been worn smooth by the action of the sea. The steps are wet and smooth so should be slippery, and there's nothing to stop us tumbling over the sides, yet I'm comfortable listening to the woman and not anxious about falling.
The woman is not Caucasian, her skin is golden and glows with a kinda inner light. I feel faded next to her, leached of energy. She's talking about the recent death of her mother. Her mother had mattered to her, but a stroke had stripped her of all agency so it was right that death came. I'm listening without comment, hoping she'll feel I'm sympathetic, but her experience is outside of my experience. It would be inappropriate for me to speak of my experience.

Oh bugger... this cuts so close to the bone... refers to such intensely personal matters... stuff I'm immensely anxious to write about online. But what's the point of reading Tarot if not to open oneself up to such profoundly personal scrutiny? What's the worst that can happen... that I'm embarrassed by my emotional incontinence?

I read the woman to be the golden chalice personified. She glows with life-affirming light [motif of the sun], and wisdom [central mandala] about the cycle of life [spirals]. I'm shying away from mention of love [heart symbol] - it feels too cliched.

The issue here is my silence. It would be disrespectful for me to say to the woman 'I envy your open-heartedness... I envy your positive relationship with your mother'. I do not share her experience.. most people's experience. The bonds for most are beyond measure.

I have had two mothers. One who was given no choice but to walk away from me six weeks after giving birth. And by the time I had summoned the courage to find her, had died many years earlier. The other, I was handed to six weeks later, and is now in her mid-90s, bedbound in a nursing home, consumed with bitterness. I have been her mother for as long as I can remember. For most of my life I have had the energy to parent my mother and raise my own children. More recently I feel drained... exhausted after a visit. I live with constant anxiety that the nursing home will say she must go elsewhere because of her behaviour [decent places are exceptionally hard to find]. I veer between relief [in the days following a visit] and growing dread, knowing that I can put off a visit no longer. So Tarot, don't speak to me of unconditional love... unless of course, you refer to my children.

Perhaps the golden woman [Ace of Cups] is confirming to me that I should not feel badly that my mother's rage against 'the dying of the light' is draining me?

[Joan Marie]

What a dream and what a card and what an interpretation. I won't/can't add anything here. Just want to say thank you for sharing all this and for your beautiful and thoughtful interpretation.

My greatest hope for this place is that together we can find our way in life through the symbols and signs of the tarot, together. The good times and the troubling, the sweet and the serious.

Thank you so much for joining us and for showing us how the Tarot speaks to you.

[Diana]

The issue here is my silence. It would be disrespectful for me to say to the woman 'I envy your open-heartedness... I envy your positive relationship with your mother'. I do not share her experience.. most people's experience. The bonds for most are beyond measure.

(...........................................................)

Perhaps the golden woman [Ace of Cups] is confirming to me that I should not feel badly that my mother's rage against 'the dying of the light' is draining me?

My sweet Aoife. How honest you are. You're one of the most honest persons I've ever met I think. I hesitate to speak here of my experience... and to put you through your dream again. But you like honest. I certainly do not want to make these Sacred Days of yours mine - please do not think that is my intention. I honour yours deeply.

You would have envied me my positive relationship with my mother. She had a massive stroke and died after 18 long and endless months of sadness and hopelessness. Our bonds were beyond measure. So much beyond measure that soon after she died I shattered into a million pieces. I had to reconstruct myself bit by bit - finding our what was mine, and what was hers. Had to find out in what measure I had been "her" and in what measure I had been "me". I fell into the black hole of depression. Black Hole. As above, so below.

Relationships with mothers are often fraught with danger and even those that seem strong can turn out to be fragile.

I am so sorry to hear that you have had to parent your mother for so long. That is not right and it is a sad story. The kind that makes us wonder at the cruelty of life. It would be nice to be able to let go of all that now. Maybe the next Sacred Days will give more insight. I am sure all the Days will be following a story line of some sort.

Ace of Cups. Hmmmm. Where do you get your strength from Aoife ? Your inspiration ? What do you drink from that Cup ? What liquid does it contain ? Do you forget sometimes that you are thirsty and ignore your thirst ? Do you forget to drink at the fount ?

Don't let yourself drink from the Cup that contains the bitter liquid that your mother is drinking. Say no when it is offered. It's not good. It's poisonous. Drink the water from the Ace of Cups only. The Ace of Cups represents the Holy Grail. I will stop now, I don't want to hijack your thread.

Oh and by the way, I love you beyond measure.

[Aoife]

Diana I don't have the words at the moment beyond THANK YOU!
This alchemy demands time, energy and focus, all of which are in short supply at the moment. Your words are working away beneath the everyday, and I will soon come back to comment properly. In the meantime THANK YOU!

[Aoife]

Yule - Winter Solstice - December 21st
This card shows how best to connect to the light within and without - it symbolises the birth of the sun.

The Lovers

Hmmm… the trouble with using decks other than TdM or RWS, or sometimes Thoth, is that for majors my mind will always ‘see’ the imprint of the original. And the Hudes Tarot tends to offer little additional symbolism. Interestingly though, the tree branches shown at the top of the card are bare, indicating a winter scene, entirely appropriate for the winter solstice.

Of course, the solstice isn't a sudden volte-face, but a gradual lengthening of daylight. And the notion of a tentative pause fits with my understanding of The Lovers, a card which often points to a change of direction. If you subscribe to the keyword ‘choice’ for the card it usually involves a pause before embarking on the process of choosing, not arriving at the end result in my experience. And the process of choosing is motivated more by emotion than intellect - heart over head.

The Hudes Lovers card has the usual three figures, but their body language and facial expressions are ambiguous enough to allow for a range of interpretation. Try as I might I can’t escape my belief that The Lovers is usually concerned with LOVE…. but its usually complicated, and all too often involves problems in intimate relationships.

In family therapy practice the existence of triads invariably spells trouble. When the primary relationship [parents] are under pressure, one or both can focus attention away and onto a third party, often creating a scapegoat which serves to diffuse the tension. Unfortunately, the scapegoat is often a powerless child. Conversely, when intimate relationships become acrimonious the adults can try to get the children to side with them against the other parent. And of course, there’s the age-old trope about the interfering in-laws. These sort of things make me anxious about three people and Love.

There’s a strange optical illusion with this card. The limbs of the woman in the background are not shown, however, at the far left [as we view it] of the man’s shoulder it could be the woman’s right hand… and her left hand could be at the neck of the woman in the foreground. As I say, its an optical illusion… alternatively, there’s a woman in the background of a querent’s situation who’s touching the man supportively and holding [by the throat!] back the other woman as she leans toward the man. This suggestion is in keeping with some possibilities with the TdM card.

As for interpreting this card in relation to my life, I’m not sure. I need to see which other cards come up over the next few days.

[Diana]

Of course, the solstice isn't a sudden volte-face, but a gradual lengthening of daylight. And the notion of a tentative pause fits with my understanding of The Lovers, a card which often points to a change of direction. If you subscribe to the keyword ‘choice’ for the card it usually involves a pause before embarking on the process of choosing, not arriving at the end result in my experience. And the process of choosing is motivated more by emotion than intellect - heart over head.

The Hudes Lovers card has the usual three figures, but their body language and facial expressions are ambiguous enough to allow for a range of interpretation. Try as I might I can’t escape my belief that The Lovers is usually concerned with LOVE…. but its usually complicated, and all too often involves problems in intimate relationships.

Anna (fellow ATFer and co-founder with me of the two Tarot forums of which you were also member) did a reading for me once. It seems to have been channelled. It must have been over fifteen years ago, but I've always kept it, almost like a sacred relic. About the Lover(s) it says this :

L'Amoureux has nothing to do with choices. There are no decisions to make. There is destiny.... and surrender. When we open our hearts and completely surrender our desire to control what is happening to us, we become our most powerful. Because it is then that we can connect to the universal life force that exists within everything, and we opened up to receiving the healing and abundance that is our birthright.

When we are fearful, we are in a state of absolute rigidity. We are disconnected from the life force. We may think that we are in control, but we are not. Fear makes us ill, prevents us from receiving what is rightfully ours. The only way to break out of the fear state is through Love. Powerful healing energies surround you right now, but you must open yourself up to receive it.

Open your heart Diana. I am told to tell you, it will not break.

The Diana can be replaced by Aoife.

[archimedes]

The Lovers - at least in the TdM/RWS is (I think -?) associated with Gemini, so I wanted to read more about the story of Gemini for some insight. It might not be meaningful to you, but digging into the mythology is something I find enriching. From https://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/history/gemini/

The myth of Gemini is a myth of Castor and Pollux, sons of Zeus and Leda. .. Castor was the mortal twin brother, and Pollux was immortal. They never fought and loved each other greatly... Brothers aspired to marry two women who were already betrothed to two of their cousins. This lead to a family feud and Castor was fatally wounded by one of the cousins as a consequence. Zeus gave a choice to Pollux – to spend every day as an immortal at Mount Olympus among the gods, or give half of his immortality to his brother Castor. He opted for the latter, and the twins shared life and death, by spending a day at Olympus together followed by a day at Hades – the underworld.

the source goes on to say

This myth reminds us of sincere brotherly love and can manifest through the love for a brother, or a friendship that is so close that it feels like brotherhood. It tells about two people who don’t care about their differences and are prepared to do anything for each other. They could have trouble with women who already have a man in their life, and we can certainly see a picture of two men fighting over a woman. If one of them gets badly hurt, it is to be expected that the other one will give anything to help him. The sign and the constellation of Gemini represent a link of heaven and the underworld and can represent someone’s near death experience or any sort of intense contact with death.

I know some versions of the early TdM cards see the characters in the Lovers card as ambiguous, but many also seem clearly about a person with split loyalties as Cupid hovers overhead. Love and loyalty are pretty constant human obsessions. And if it's not about love for you, I'm wondering if it could be about responsibility and passion. Marriage in the past, as you know, was a social contract; love was another matter entirely. Perhaps your attention is divided between interests, or between things you ought to do and things you want to do.

There's also a tendency to read this card as the man choosing between two women. Perhaps, rather, the woman is experiencing conflicting loyalties between sibling and lover. What does this mean for the birth of the sun, though? That Castor and Pollux return to the underworld each day reminds me of the story of Persephone, abducted by Hades down to the underworld. Perhaps these women are Persephone, retrieved by Hermes, and her mother, Demeter. The wheel of the seasons turns; the seed will grow, the sun will return out of the darkness.

[Aoife]

Oh Diana, thank you!
That's such an inadequate response from me but I'm feeling a tad disorientated... feeling that I need to pause and allow what's been said to date to sink in before moving on to the next day and card. I hope that I can say more in proper response in later days or with time for reflection at the end of the twelve days. But in the meantime, thank you!

[Aoife]

Thank you archimedes!
I've never really got into the astrological correspondences, so your account of the associated mythology is fascinating. This is a whole new area for me to explore - thank you so much!

[Aoife]

3. The Time of Beth - December 22nd
This card points to the inner blocks and resistance that is holding us back from following our dreams.

The Moon

I'm starting to wish that I had used a more traditional deck, something with more substance.
I think it was Crowley who said that the Moon represents the last stage of winter, and in the northern hemisphere we've only just entered winter. "The card points to the inner blocks and resistance..." and The Moon concerns inner blocks and resistance. Usually when Tarot answers by restating a question I understand that 'now is not the time'. It would seem that I'm not yet in the right phase to break free from what holds me back. The moon is currently close to fully waned, just a mere sliver low in the pre-dawn sky... beautiful but depleted.

[Aoife]

4. Hopi Time of Renewal
This card indicates the best way for us to seek purification and renewal, and to build tolerance for others.

High Priestess

Yet another major, and such a significant card.... too significant actually for me to be able to say much at the moment. My birth mother's twin sister died this morning. We weren't close, and she was very elderly, but I have significant regrets. I'll come back to this when I'm less disorientated.

[Diana]

Yet another major, and such a significant card.... too significant actually for me to be able to say much at the moment. My birth mother's twin sister died this morning. We weren't close, and she was very elderly, but I have significant regrets. I'll come back to this when I'm less disorientated.

Aoife, sorry to hear of your regrets and disorientation due to your aunt dying. These events can really knock us down can't they.

Oh... this card says it all then. What a card to pull today of all Days. It's Day 5. Feast of Mothers, Christmas Eve: - Dec 24th
This card shows how we can connect with the spirits of our ancestors for communion and to ask for wisdom and guidance.

I like how you pulled it for Day 4 - Renewal and Purification. But that you post about your aunt on Day 5. It's curious. The Tarot is always curious.

The veil of the Papesse which has been opened and which shows a place where only few can enter. Looks a nice place. The book I assume is part of the significant regrets we have when one of our elders pass. They also take with them stories that we will never hear and which we were meaning to ask and didn't, or didn't think to ask, or didn't dare to ask. When the elders pass, they usually hand over the book of the generations to the ones that are left behind. Then we write our own stories in them and we pass them on when we depart to the land beyond the Papesse.

If you feel too pressured to do the readings because of all this, don't stress. Like you could pull the card and even do the reading proper on another day. As these readings are done I assume for the whole year to come, there's plenty of time to mull over them. Or you could do a few in one go. Take it easy.

[Aoife]

I am SO sorry.
Things have been too busy... too emotionally strange... too disorientating. Now is not the time for me to be reading Tarot, or to respond with any degree of sense to the wonderful responses - beyond to say 'Thank You'. I will come back once the silly-season is over and give this amazing process the attention it deserves.
In the meantime, I'll post the cards I've pulled - but without comment for the moment.

[Aoife]

6. Festival of Life, Christmas: - Dec 25th
This card shows us how to connect directly with Spirit.

The Magician

[Aoife]

7. Yuletide, Kwanzaa: - Dec 26th
This card shows us how to express nurturance, to attend to our families and to express the protective energy within us towards others.

4 of Swords

[Diana]

Oh what a lovely card for this reading ! The 4 of Swords I mean. Just what you needed after the others.

Time to step back and let everyone take care of themselves for a while it's telling you, isn't it ? All that family and obligations and requirements. Time for a long metaphoric nap. You've still got your swords if you need them and will wake up if an important noise disturbs you and requires urgent attention.

It's very important for a soldier of any kind to rest. My dad told me once that the worst thing ever he remembered of the Battle of Narvick in WW2, which the Germans won, was the lack of sleep and rest. The noise and the chaos didn't allow for sleep. He said without rest (and in his case sleep as well), you think you're going mad. It's even worse than the fear he said.

Let the world spin and turn without your trying to help it for a while. It will turn anyway with or without you, you know. And also the tide will come in without your pulling it. That's a line from My Fair Lady. To cheer you up, listen to Eliza Doolittle sing on this matter, she gives an important lesson there and also she's cute as hell when she sings it (although it's not her singing really, it's the wonderful Marni Nixon):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3mC4485Ue0


We are not here to fix the world. But how we love to think we are !

[Aoife]

Time to step back and let everyone take care of themselves for a while it's telling you, isn't it ?

We are not here to fix the world. But how we love to think we are !

Diana, thank you!
I've quoted two lines from your post, but the whole was so helpful, thank you!
I'm really interested in sleep - such an under-investigated phenomenon. And as your Father described, the experience of inadequate sleep is fascinating and nightmarish!

[Aoife]

8. Birth of Freyja: - Dec 27th
This card points to issues of love, luck, artistic and creative expression and female wisdom.

9. Feast of Alcyone: - Dec 28th
This card gives us a personal inner message - one that speaks directly to our heart and spirit.

10. Day of Nymphs - Dec 29th
This card encourages us to connect to our playful side, our inner child and how best to cultivate this aspect of ourselves.

11. Day of Rest: - Dec 30th
This card shows us how to walk our path in a relaxed and confident way....with the ability to deal with stressful situations in a philosophical, detached way.

12. New Year's Eve, Hogmanay - Dec 31st
This card shows us how to release the old and let in the new. This relates to both our external lives and our inner being.

[Diana]

Wonderful cards you've drawn there Aoife. Lots of space for evolution and for an increasing sense of peace. I look forward to reading your comments on them!

And the Hudes deck... I remember now why I always liked it, to my surprise at the time. It's a wise and poetic deck. Very straight to the point. And the point is the heart. It has the ability to awaken us from our illusions and dreams.

Who is Susan Hudes ??? Do you know anything about her ? I'd love to know more of who she is and what she's doing now and if she's still in the Tarot world.

[Aoife]

Apologies for my disappearance for a few days. I did though continue to pull cards and ponder the positional meanings.

It seems to me that many of the cards re-stated the points made by the positions - almost to the extent of cliched RWS 'meanings'. By the same token, there's a depth here that I could riff off for months.
But first impressions -

There's a lot of inactivity - passive... receptive cards. Is that a reflection of how I 'am', or a recommendation for how I should 'be'? I'm inclined to think that I'm too inclined to thinking. And I certainly should stop trying to control that which is beyond my sway.

Casting aside the esoteric and arcane considerations of The Hanged Man - it amuses me that in the position '...encouraging us to our playful side" I'm reminded of the joy as a child of hanging upside down from trees and climbing frames.
I should play a lot more in my textile-art work. Rather than justifying the 'waste' of materials as experimenting, maybe I should allow myself to play freely? I really do have an issue with frugality, not wasting resources, the importance of resources being functional. I've long subscribed to the Arts & Crafts maxim 'have nothing in your home you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful'. My problem is not utility, but the belief that my play might produce something I find beautiful.

I'm struck that the one significantly 'active' card - The Magician - relates to "connecting directly with spirit". This is something I've been skirting around for many years, and recent events have brought home the need for me to concentrate on this.

It's a bit disheartening to end with the 9 of Swords, but I'm reminded that the card is a picture of the mind desperately trying to resolve an issue for which it is not suited. Releasing the old to allow space for the new has to be so much more than a thought process - and on this I must ponder.

[Diana]

Oooh, I'm so tempted to interpret these cards. But I won't. They're yours. And that 9 of Swords is a great card here ! Just what's needed to round up all the Days. The Hanged Man - am not surprised to see it there.

You maybe didn't see my question further, do you know who Susan Hudes is ? I find no information about her anyway. I'm wondering if she's still interested in the Tarot and what she thinks of her deck that she created so long ago.

[Diana]

You maybe didn't see my question further, do you know who Susan Hudes is ? I find no information about her anyway. I'm wondering if she's still interested in the Tarot and what she thinks of her deck that she created so long ago.

I think I found a website that may belong to Susan Hudes. Although there may be another Susan Hudes who is an illustrator. But I have a feeling it may be hers and it says she studied at the same art school that the Hudes deck creator studied at. It's a very sparse site and makes no mention of a tarot deck. But there was a contact form on it (no email adddress), so I wrote to her asking if it is her who designed the deck and if it is, if she'd be willing to share a bit of background on it. Why she created it and all. If I receive a response, I'll share here on CoT. With these contact forms, we never get a confirmation that it's been received so one always gets the impression that our message is going out to a big black empty hole. It's weird.

[Aoife]

Sorry Diana, just catching up.
There's a book that accompanies the deck, written by an A L Samul. In the introduction s(he) talks about discovering the published deck, finding that there was no accompanying text, and contacting Susan Hudes who agreed to collaborate on a book. A L Samuel talks a lot about her own background and motivation but says very little about Susan Hudes. The impression I have is that Susan Hudes is/was a designer with limited knowledge of tarot, but much is made by A L Samul of the Jungian synchronicity, and Hudes tapping into the collective unconscious.
I do hope she replies to your email - it would be fascinating to know more.

[Aoife]

Oooh, I'm so tempted to interpret these cards. But I won't. They're yours. And that 9 of Swords is a great card here ! Just what's needed to round up all the Days. The Hanged Man - am not surprised to see it there.

I'd love to know your interpretation!
And most particularly your thoughts about the Hanged Man.