Amoroso reads for kare, Shadow Cards

[Amoroso]

Hi kare.

Glad to read for you for this month's circle. What's your question?

[kare]

Hi kare.

Glad to read for you for this month's circle. What's your question?

Hi, Amoroso,

I've been struggling to balance a focus on myself with a focus on the needs of my family. In some ways, I don't focus enough on things I should for myself like health, and in other ways, I think that I focus too much on what I want or prefer. I could be mistaken. We've had some big changes to life situation, so it's hard to get in a groove and hard to know what a good equilibrium is. Navigating when to give myself priority, what is okay, and when to give them priority when I already focus on caring for them a lot, is hard. So guidance into this situation would be really helpful. How do I find the right balance?

Thank you.

[Amoroso]

Alright, I'll read for you by Thursday at the latest. I'll use the Osho Zen if it's alright with you.

[kare]

That's a beautiful deck. Thanks.

[Amoroso]

My apologies that I only posted this now. I drew the cards days ago, but with the combination that I picked and the seeming importance of your question, I had to be careful with how I phrase my answer lest it be misinterpreted. Some of the cards in the Osho Zen can be pretty controversial.

Anyway, this is a pretty strange reading. I believe this is the only 4-card draw I made that only included the minors of a single suit, and without any court card at that. Because your question is about Balance, I shuffled my deck fourteen times (for Temperance), so I'm pretty sure that it was well-randomized before I pulled my cards.

Before I began, I devised a spread that's specific to your question. I don't remember using it before, and it may even be a spread I've encountered that just lay dormant at the back of my mind. In any case, it's a three-carder with the first as the Root of the problem, the second as the Action that you'd need to take, and the last as the most possible Outcome should you heed the advice of the previous two. I then drew a fourth card as the Shadow, the hidden factor underpinning your concern. You may be entirely unaware of this, or you may be privy to it on a deeper level but just don't wish to acknowledge it.

All of the four cards that I drew came from the Suit of Clouds, which corresponds to the Swords in the RWS system. They also encompass the first two and the last two cards of the suit (i.e. the Ace, Two, Nine, Ten), which makes me believe that there is a huge chance that your concern itself can be solved. The resolution would stem from getting to the very heart of the problem tho.

Since my draws are entirely from the suit of Air, I think that this must all play out in the mental plane. More than anything it is a battle you must wage against the parts of your psyche that hold you back, that are no longer productive.

In the Root position, I drew the 9 of Clouds, or Sorrow. I find this very apt if a bit circuitous, since all of my books on the deck again recommend exploring the root of the melancholy that holds you back if you want to progress. They suggest a clear and ruthless self-examination to discover what ultimately makes you sad, and from thereon to maybe find the seed of your true bliss. After all, the figure in the card is Ananda, who after a night of intense and utter mourning for himself (since he still hasn't attained anything even as his cousin and master Buddha lies dead) managed to gain that which he desperately longed for - enlightenment.

There are two kinds of sadnesses. The first is causal, stemming from bereavement maybe, or abandonment, or many such issues which with patience, grace and acceptance can be healed by time. The second is the existential sort, an even deeper pain which we must all go through. Only after we begin to face and understand it, without blame and self-pity after a full disillusionment and a total lack of hope, can we spark our transformation, from which we can glean the wisdom that we have always been reaching for.

Remember that sadness strips us of the enthusiasm and verve to face our everyday challenges. We become somnolent, lethargic, and easily tired, causing us to feel easily overwhelmed and depriving us of the energy to meet the day's demands. Your problem may not be that you don't know how to divide your focus, but how to deepen your physical and especially mental reserves to be able to effectively split your time between yourself and your family.

In the Action position lies a powerful card - the Ace of Clouds, or Consciousness. This might very well be connected to the existential crisis posed by the Sorrow card that preceded it.

On a more concrete level tho, it enjoins you to first aim to achieve a more detached mindset so that you can look at the problem with objectivity and crystal clarity. List down all the tasks that you need to achieve in a week, both personal and familial. Rank them according to priority, then schedule them. Be prepared to sacrifice some of your free time to achieve this. Above all, be clever and creative.

For example, the absence of any card from the Earth suit signifies to me that you won't have any significant concern regarding your health in the short term. However, being physically fit and vital is very important if you wish to be more active and productive, giving you the necessary pep to go through your tasks. Studies show that you only need around 6 hours of activity a week to operate at your peak. That's just one hour a day. You can run on a treadmill (or even just in place - I do that when I travel somewhere without adequate gym amenities) while you watch your favorite show. You can perform simple body weight exercises (these don't even require much equipment) while you listen to your audiobook du jour. I can wax poetic on the manifold ways you can include a workout routine in your day with minimal expense, but that would be straying from my reading. Just two things tho. One - it is recommended to have a physical check up before embarking on a new routine especially if you've been sedentary for a time. Two - I can't stress enough how exercise is just one part of the equation. NEVER neglect your nutrition or you'll just be handicapping yourself, wondering why you're achieving minimal results while seeming to put in so much effort.

Back to the card - be smart in finding ways to free up more time to pursue your goals. If you have resource-consuming hobbies that you can afford to skip, either reduce the time you spend on it or eliminate it altogether. Be absolutely ruthless with this. Every one of them might seem important, but at this point you should be able to distinguish between what you want and what you need. Also, don't hesitate to ask for help from your family - like if there are certain chores that you can delegate to them, don't hesitate to do so.

The card of Consciousness also suggests developing an effective mindset through which you can deal with your concern. Remind yourself why you do all of this. Is this out of a pure and genuine love for your family or just out of a sense of duty? Acknowledging and taking these to heart is a surefire way of rekindling your enthusiasm when things become too overwhelming or exhausting.

The Outcome card might seem like a double-edged sword, but overall it looks very auspicious to me. Yes, the 10 of Clouds (10 of Swords!) might seem like an awful concluding card on any other deck, but this is the Osho Zen, and with a name like Rebirth it can't help but bring great tidings. Remember in this reading, your concern encompasses the suit of Clouds. The 10 as the outcome states that there is a definite end to your problem, but it can only be achieved with considerable effort.

The symbolism in the card accurately reflects your problem too as it reflects Nietzsche's metamorphosis allegory. One must rise above the station of the stodgy, grey camel, whose energy has been zapped trying to cater to the expectations and approval of the public. The lion is single-minded in pursuit of his goals - he does not hesitate to say no to others if their requests will interfere with his plans or significantly slow him down.

In the Shadow position is the controversial card that I first intimated - 2 of Clouds, or Schizophrenia. It does not absolutely mean the mental disease tho. It may suggest that indecision and vacillation may have contributed to your problem. But it may also advise that how you framed your concern may be indicative of a deeper issue than what's apparent at first. When you think in terms of priorities, guilt can only be part of the conversation. Do I give enough of myself for my family? How about me tho? I no longer feel fulfilled, maybe I left precious little for myself and so I now feel unsatisfied. But I shouldn't feel this, it's unfair to my family etc etc.

Maybe it's time to accept that you have your limitations too. The very act of confronting your priorities (as I've suggested in the previous cards), using all your brainpower to draft feasible plans and more importantly, executing them is a brave thing. By then you will have made many sacrifices. Acceptance comes from the full and total knowledge that you've already given as much of yourself as you can, that you've given it your all, your very best. This can only free you, as you finally realize that you've tried your utmost to be fair to both yourself and your family. There's really nothing more you can do, so why make yourself miserable about it. Then and only then can you can release yourself from your guilt.

I hope this reading will prove helpful to you, kare.

[Amoroso]

These are your cards:

[kare]

My apologies that I only posted this now. I drew the cards days ago, but with the combination that I picked and the seeming importance of your question, I had to be careful with how I phrase my answer lest it be misinterpreted. Some of the cards in the Osho Zen can be pretty controversial.

Anyway, this is a pretty strange reading. I believe this is the only 4-card draw I made that only included the minors of a single suit, and without any court card at that. Because your question is about Balance, I shuffled my deck fourteen times (for Temperance), so I'm pretty sure that it was well-randomized before I pulled my cards.

Before I began, I devised a spread that's specific to your question. I don't remember using it before, and it may even be a spread I've encountered that just lay dormant at the back of my mind. In any case, it's a three-carder with the first as the Root of the problem, the second as the Action that you'd need to take, and the last as the most possible Outcome should you heed the advice of the previous two. I then drew a fourth card as the Shadow, the hidden factor underpinning your concern. You may be entirely unaware of this, or you may be privy to it on a deeper level but just don't wish to acknowledge it.

First, thank you for the thorough and detailed reading. I like your take on the shadow card and what it can represent with regard to a hidden factor. I have actually written down your spread in my journal and will use it in the future, and give you credit if I ever share, if that is okay. It is such an insightful design for a spread. I also appreciate your channeling of Temperance energy while suffling. This card is one that is often on my mind as I strive to find balance in my life.

All of the four cards that I drew came from the Suit of Clouds, which corresponds to the Swords in the RWS system. They also encompass the first two and the last two cards of the suit (i.e. the Ace, Two, Nine, Ten), which makes me believe that there is a huge chance that your concern itself can be solved. The resolution would stem from getting to the very heart of the problem tho.

Since my draws are entirely from the suit of Air, I think that this must all play out in the mental plane. More than anything it is a battle you must wage against the parts of your psyche that hold you back, that are no longer productive.

The swords do indeed seem to follow me around. Particularly the 10 and sometimes 9, as well as the Ace. This is definitely an issue of perspective to me. I tend to see much of my struggles with stress and lack of balance as at least in part stemming from an attitude or perspective issue, and when I seek to solve problems, I try to start there first. That you drew these cards gives me the assurance that this is where I should focus my efforts. It is comforting to hear your interpretation of the 9/10 and Ace/2 as demonstrating that it is solvable.

In the Root position, I drew the 9 of Clouds, or Sorrow. I find this very apt if a bit circuitous, since all of my books on the deck again recommend exploring the root of the melancholy that holds you back if you want to progress. They suggest a clear and ruthless self-examination to discover what ultimately makes you sad, and from thereon to maybe find the seed of your true bliss. After all, the figure in the card is Ananda, who after a night of intense and utter mourning for himself (since he still hasn't attained anything even as his cousin and master Buddha lies dead) managed to gain that which he desperately longed for - enlightenment.

There are two kinds of sadnesses. The first is causal, stemming from bereavement maybe, or abandonment, or many such issues which with patience, grace and acceptance can be healed by time. The second is the existential sort, an even deeper pain which we must all go through. Only after we begin to face and understand it, without blame and self-pity after a full disillusionment and a total lack of hope, can we spark our transformation, from which we can glean the wisdom that we have always been reaching for.

Remember that sadness strips us of the enthusiasm and verve to face our everyday challenges. We become somnolent, lethargic, and easily tired, causing us to feel easily overwhelmed and depriving us of the energy to meet the day's demands. Your problem may not be that you don't know how to divide your focus, but how to deepen your physical and especially mental reserves to be able to effectively split your time between yourself and your family.

I have never heard the traditional RWS 9 of Swords interpreted as sadness, but this so fits. And I am also noting that for future interpretations of that card. I have been struggling with a grieving process of sorts over the past couple of years that has been accompanied by a number of changes, changes that are still in process and yet to be determined. So since there is still some lack of certainty, it feels like full resolution on the things that I have struggled with has been hard to achieve. However I am making progress. I can absolutely see how this situation can make it hard for me to be decisive and therefore to be enthusiastic about goals, and hard to know how to strike that balance between self and family. I now think that if I can do some specific, practical and realistic goal setting (rather than distant and general goal setting as I have done) this will help me navigate the waters of balance on a daily basis much better. Thank you. On the existential sadness issue, sometimes I tend to make too many links to that. To lend my struggles more value than they are always due. This prevents me moving on. I think this gets to the detachment issue you mention with the next card below.

In the Action position lies a powerful card - the Ace of Clouds, or Consciousness. This might very well be connected to the existential crisis posed by the Sorrow card that preceded it.

On a more concrete level tho, it enjoins you to first aim to achieve a more detached mindset so that you can look at the problem with objectivity and crystal clarity. List down all the tasks that you need to achieve in a week, both personal and familial. Rank them according to priority, then schedule them. Be prepared to sacrifice some of your free time to achieve this. Above all, be clever and creative.

For example, the absence of any card from the Earth suit signifies to me that you won't have any significant concern regarding your health in the short term. However, being physically fit and vital is very important if you wish to be more active and productive, giving you the necessary pep to go through your tasks. Studies show that you only need around 6 hours of activity a week to operate at your peak. That's just one hour a day. You can run on a treadmill (or even just in place - I do that when I travel somewhere without adequate gym amenities) while you watch your favorite show. You can perform simple body weight exercises (these don't even require much equipment) while you listen to your audiobook du jour. I can wax poetic on the manifold ways you can include a workout routine in your day with minimal expense, but that would be straying from my reading. Just two things tho. One - it is recommended to have a physical check up before embarking on a new routine especially if you've been sedentary for a time. Two - I can't stress enough how exercise is just one part of the equation. NEVER neglect your nutrition or you'll just be handicapping yourself, wondering why you're achieving minimal results while seeming to put in so much effort.

Back to the card - be smart in finding ways to free up more time to pursue your goals. If you have resource-consuming hobbies that you can afford to skip, either reduce the time you spend on it or eliminate it altogether. Be absolutely ruthless with this. Every one of them might seem important, but at this point you should be able to distinguish between what you want and what you need. Also, don't hesitate to ask for help from your family - like if there are certain chores that you can delegate to them, don't hesitate to do so.

The card of Consciousness also suggests developing an effective mindset through which you can deal with your concern. Remind yourself why you do all of this. Is this out of a pure and genuine love for your family or just out of a sense of duty? Acknowledging and taking these to heart is a surefire way of rekindling your enthusiasm when things become too overwhelming or exhausting.

I appreciate your recommendation to be ruthless, so to speak, in managing my time. I should be more organized about this, but this is a skill that I have been working on and it has definitely helped. Physical activity does help me stave off depression and I have started wtih a small plan, like with many things, but I do now think it is time to get more serious about the daily and weekly routines. Absolutely I can see this both stemming from the consciousness I cultivate, and also impacting my consciousness going forward. I have also been working on moving away from a sense of guilt and also frustation. Guilt when I do anything for myself, and frustration when I am feeling that I am overwhelmed. These don't serve, and your approach, to simply be logical, organized and ruthless about planning, is very helpful. It clarifies and will encourage me to tighten a somewhat loose version of that process I was in.

The Outcome card might seem like a double-edged sword, but overall it looks very auspicious to me. Yes, the 10 of Clouds (10 of Swords!) might seem like an awful concluding card on any other deck, but this is the Osho Zen, and with a name like Rebirth it can't help but bring great tidings. Remember in this reading, your concern encompasses the suit of Clouds. The 10 as the outcome states that there is a definite end to your problem, but it can only be achieved with considerable effort.

The symbolism in the card accurately reflects your problem too as it reflects Nietzsche's metamorphosis allegory. One must rise above the station of the stodgy, grey camel, whose energy has been zapped trying to cater to the expectations and approval of the public. The lion is single-minded in pursuit of his goals - he does not hesitate to say no to others if their requests will interfere with his plans or significantly slow him down.

Thank you for your interpretation here to embrace the hard work aspect of this process. The 10 of Swords, as it has come up in my struggles with the changes, is a card that has brought comfort to me. The relief at the ending of a difficult process. I also do need to channel the lion energy more. Singlemindedness in pursuit of my goals is something I have not had. Instead I have been drawn in many directions, but a clearer focus would actually help me with all of the aspects of my life that I want to work on rather than hinder my progress with the rest of them. This makes complete sense to me.

In the Shadow position is the controversial card that I first intimated - 2 of Clouds, or Schizophrenia. It does not absolutely mean the mental disease tho. It may suggest that indecision and vacillation may have contributed to your problem. But it may also advise that how you framed your concern may be indicative of a deeper issue than what's apparent at first. When you think in terms of priorities, guilt can only be part of the conversation. Do I give enough of myself for my family? How about me tho? I no longer feel fulfilled, maybe I left precious little for myself and so I now feel unsatisfied. But I shouldn't feel this, it's unfair to my family etc etc.

Maybe it's time to accept that you have your limitations too. The very act of confronting your priorities (as I've suggested in the previous cards), using all your brainpower to draft feasible plans and more importantly, executing them is a brave thing. By then you will have made many sacrifices. Acceptance comes from the full and total knowledge that you've already given as much of yourself as you can, that you've given it your all, your very best. This can only free you, as you finally realize that you've tried your utmost to be fair to both yourself and your family. There's really nothing more you can do, so why make yourself miserable about it. Then and only then can you can release yourself from your guilt.

I don't often get the two of swords. All of your words here are encouraging and affirming. I have been torn, in part with determining which goals to set, seeing my way forward, planning, and the times when I feel most satisfied are the times I have been able to say I truly did everything I reasonably could, and the rest is okay.

I hope this reading will prove helpful to you, kare.

Thank you so much. This reading has clarified some significant things for me and gives me a practical plan for moving forward. I am deeply appreciative of your time and and insight.

[Amoroso]

Thanks for the very encouraging reply, kare.

Regarding the spread, I had you in mind when I first devised it, so it's yours now. No need to credit me should you use it for whatever purpose in the future.

A Blessed (and Advanced) Samhain to you!

[kare]

Thanks for the very encouraging reply, kare.

Regarding the spread, I had you in mind when I first devised it, so it's yours now. No need to credit me should you use it for whatever purpose in the future.

A Blessed (and Advanced) Samhain to you!

Thank you so much! And a Blessed Samhain to you!